To succeed as a leader you need wisdom

What makes leaders fail? How many leadership qualities make a successful leader? Why do so many people with such good intentions fail to achieve their potential? Why do so many make decisions which even they would regard as poor? The recent events in British politics are one example, but this is the same all over the world, in government and in organizations. The Corporate Executive Board (CEB) estimates that 50–70% of executives fail within 18 months.

What makes leaders fail? Why do so many people with such good intentions fail to achieve their potential? Why do so many make decisions which even they would regard as poor? The recent events in British politics are one example, but this is the same all over the world, in government and in organizations. The Corporate Executive Board (CEB) estimates that 50–70% of executives fail within 18 months. https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/
Are you in a leadership position, or aspire to be? What do you think of the importance of wisdom to help you be a successful leader?
A lack of wisdom is one of the main reasons leaders and executives fail. This wisdom comes from self-knowledge and a deeper understanding of the many hidden drivers in our thinking that shape our thoughts and actions. This can be learned by everyone but is not taught anywhere.
‘Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom’ — Aristotle
Consider two examples.
Integrity is the most important quality of leadership.#leadership qualities
Having an intention to live with integrity is an important first step, but is not enough. Leaders work under pressure, making many decisions a day. When making a decision we think we are making an informed choice. Our hidden self-interest is always operating in the background though, and it pushes us to do things that are primarily in our own interest, and not in the interest of the country or organization or department we lead. We can justify any decision to ourselves — our mind is very resourceful in that regard. In doing so we may not consider all the consequences of our actions. We may think it does not matter to tell a small lie, or do someone a favour because they have done something for us in the past, or break a rule because it’s a minor infringement and no one will find out, or accept a favour because everyone is doing that, or make a decision that suits our agenda rather than what is best for the country or organization, and so on. We may fool ourselves into thinking that people will not see through our real motives. Leaders live under immense scrutiny and most things eventually come out. Once people think you lack integrity and cannot be trusted on the small decisions, they assume you cannot be trusted on the big decisions either. Leadership is by consent in most cases, and once you have lost that trust, your days as a leader are numbered. Self-interest is part of being human and labelling it as wrong blocks further exploration.
Understanding and being watchful of your self-interest operating in the background needs wisdom, and allows you to live with integrity.
Leaders are often forgiven for making mistakes — that is just human, but a perceived lack of integrity, even on small issues, results in a lack of trust, and once that vase has hit the floor, it’s not easy to put back together.
Our unconscious fears play a significant role in decision-making.
These fears operate in the background shaping our decisions: what will people think of me; will this affect my chance of being re-elected or getting promoted; if this decision does not work out how will that impact me; and so on. As a result, leaders often duck the difficult decisions that need to be made, or they make decisions that they know are not in the wider interest, but they are unable to overcome their fears and make the correct ones. They may not even be aware that their fear was behind the decision they made. Fear shapes decisions in other ways as well — a fear that others are plotting against them can make leaders suspicious of everyone and live with chronic anxiety, which distracts them from doing their job. All this stops them from making the right decisions that their role demands. Fear is part of being human and nothing to feel bad about. It cannot be dealt with using willpower alone, because we are often not aware of it. This is why it is so important for those in leadership positions to explore the nature of fear and become aware of how it operates in the background shaping their lives. As a result fear can have its rightful place, allowing you to make the right decisions your role demands.
‘The only real freedom is freedom from fear
Wisdom, which comes from self-knowledge, can help you develop your emotional intelligence, resilience, leadership and communication skills, and sense of empathy. It can help you live with much less stress and anxiety and make the right decisions.
Wisdom is perhaps the most important subject that is not taught anywhere, but one which you can learn yourself, by looking and learning about yourself.

Are you in a leadership position, or aspire to be? What do you think of the importance of wisdom to help you be a successful leader?#leadership qualities
A lack of wisdom is one of the main reasons leaders and executives fail. This wisdom comes from self-knowledge and leadership qualities a deeper understanding of the many hidden drivers in our thinking that shape our thoughts and actions. This can be learned by everyone but is not taught anywhere.
‘Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom’ — Aristotle
Consider two examples.
Integrity is the most important quality of leadership.#leadership qualities
Having an intention to live with integrity is an important first step, but is not enough. Leaders work under pressure, making many decisions a day. When making a decision we think we are making an informed choice. Our hidden self-interest is always operating in the background though, and it pushes us to do things that are primarily in our own interest, and not in the interest of the country or organization or department we lead. We can justify any decision to ourselves — our mind is very resourceful in that regard. In doing so we may not consider all the consequences of our actions. We may think it does not matter to tell a small lie, or do someone a favour because they have done something for us in the past, or break a rule because it’s a minor infringement and no one will find out, or accept a favour because everyone is doing that, or make a decision that suits our agenda rather than what is best for the country or organization, and so on. We may fool ourselves into thinking that people will not see through our real motives. Leaders live under immense scrutiny and most things eventually come out. Once people think you lack integrity and cannot be trusted on the small decisions, they assume you cannot be trusted on the big decisions either. Leadership is by consent in most cases, and once you have lost that trust, your days as a leader are numbered. Self-interest is part of being human and labeling it as wrong blocks further exploration.
Understanding and being watchful of your self-interest operating in the background needs wisdom and allows you to live with integrity.
Leaders are often forgiven for making mistakes — that is just human, but a perceived lack of integrity, even on small issues, results in a lack of trust, and once that vase has hit the floor, it’s not easy to put it back together.
Our unconscious fears play a significant role in decision-making. Leadership qualities are important to become a good leader in every field of life. These fears operate in the background shaping our decisions: what will people think of me; will this affect my chance of being re-elected or getting promoted; if this decision does not work out how will that impact me; and so on. As a result, leaders often duck the difficult decisions that need to be made, or they make decisions that they know are not in the wider interest, but they are unable to overcome their fears and make the correct ones. They may not even be aware that their fear was behind the decision they made. Fear shapes decisions in other ways as well — a fear that others are plotting against them can make leaders suspicious of everyone and live with chronic anxiety, which distracts them from doing their job. All this stops them from making the right decisions that their role demands. Fear is part of being human and nothing to feel bad about. It cannot be dealt with using willpower alone, because we are often not aware of it. This is why it is so important for those in leadership qualities positions to explore the nature of fear and become aware of how it operates in the background shaping their lives. As a result fear can have its rightful place, allowing you to make the right decisions your role demands.
‘The only real freedom is freedom from fear
Wisdom, which comes from self-knowledge, can help you develop your emotional intelligence, resilience, leadership and communication skills, and sense of empathy. It can help you live with much less stress and anxiety and make the right decisions.
Wisdom is perhaps the most important subject that is not taught anywhere, but one which you can learn yourself, by looking and learning about yourself. #leadership qualities.

To find out more download the HumanWisdom app or visit humanwisdom.me and explore how it can help you live your best life.

Looking for love

Love is the deepest need we humans have – and we seek it all our lives. We look for the perfect person who will make us feel good inside. When our heart is full of love we want for little else, but when it is not, nothing else will do. So how can we prepare ourselves to be the best version of ourselves as we embark on this adventure of looking for someone to fall in love with (and if it works out, spend our life with). Perhaps asking yourself these 5 questions may help.
‘We must be our own, before we can be another’s’ – Oscar Wilde
Why am I looking for love?


It may seem a silly question, but an important one nevertheless. Are you looking for love because your heart feels empty and you want someone else to complete you, and make you feel better? No one can fill that emptiness you feel for long. After the first flush of romance wears off the emptiness will return. Will you look for someone new again? How can you be comfortable being alone and love yourself as you are first, before you look for love? This is such an important question to ask ourselves before we begin. It may mean making our peace with our past, letting go of painful memories, and accepting ourselves as we are. It may mean letting go of our ideas of who we should be so we stop feeling disappointed with ourselves. This will boost our self-confidence and help us feel relaxed in our own skin. That is such an attractive quality in a person.
How well do I listen? Do I speak with care?
Do you listen with generosity and without judgment, or with a critical mind? Do you listen to understand, or to interrupt with your own point of view? We are usually poor listeners. Master the art of listening deeply, with attention, with curiosity, and without judgement. Learn to speak with care, pausing to ask yourself how it is going to be received. It is probably the most important skill to learn in any relationship. It can make all the difference to the quality of your relationship, help you avoid conflict, and understand what the other person is saying, or not able to say. It is one of the best ways of showing your love for another person. The depth of a relationship is what really nourishes our spirit and good communication is a crucial way of deepening that bond.
‘There is only one happiness in this world. To love and be loved’ – George Sand
How attached am I to my own point of view?
If we are not aware of it, we become automatically attached to our opinions, beliefs and narratives of how we see the world. We usually want others to agree with us and feel good when they do. We are automatically critical of people who are different to us. All this is linked to our past conditioning influences. We are not aware we are conditioned and yet become attached to it. This results in a power-play and conflict in a relationship – with each person trying to get the other to agree with their point of view. Waking up to this hidden process in ourselves and others allows us to be curious about our differences rather than get upset by them. It is okay for others to be different – in their tastes, opinions and beliefs. Understanding all this allows us to accept others as they are, which is the foundation of any relationship. Some people do not wake up to this process of conditioning operating in the background all their lives and their relationships stumble from one conflict to another. Love vanishes, leaving people confused about where it all went wrong.
‘Ego judges and punishes. Loves forgives and heals’ – Anon
How often do I think about others?
Try this exercise for yourself. Sit down with a pen and paper and write down every thought that comes to your mind for about 10 minutes. Do not try to judge the thoughts, or change them. Just write them as they come up.
Now look over them. How many of them are linked to yourself? And how many reflect a concern for someone else?
If we look carefully we spend most of the day thinking about ourselves. In a relationship that can be a challenge. Once the romantic phase passes and if we continue to do so, the relationship with wither, due to a lack of care. We need to consciously remind ourselves to make space in our mind for others we are in a relationship with, be sensitive to their needs, and find ways to be kind every day. It is this daily kindness, care, and thoughtfulness that lays the foundation for a great relationship.
How well do I understand my emotional needs?
We all have a long list of emotional needs we are not aware of, and which we expect others to meet – to be listened to, understood, loved, to feel important, for power, and so on. When these needs are not met we can feel hurt, withdraw our affection or get angry and blame the other person for hurting us. The other person is the same and conflict follows.
These needs are not right or wrong but need to be understood. Can we take responsibility for these needs, and express them as a request rather than a demand? How do we respond when we get hurt? A deeper understanding of our own emotional needs can help us to understand the needs others have – and try and meet them.
To find out more, explore the modules on communication, emotional needs, conditioning, relationships, and love in the HumanWisdom app. Its free to download and browse. You can also visit humanwisdom.me