Responding to Criticism – self improvement
“The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.”
– Norman Vincent Peale. https://humanwisdom.me/blogs
Isn’t it astonishing that a few spoken words have such power to hurt us? In this blog, we will explore the question of what happens when we feel criticised and how this understanding can help us respond with wisdom rather than anger.Embrace self-improvement: Unlock your potential.
We are all criticised and experience the sudden pain that arises deep within us. We have no control over our initial reactions to pain, such as getting angry, blaming others, or withdrawing affection. However, through self-improvement, we can learn to respond in healthier and more constructive ways.
Our psychological sense of self, a condition of our thinking, experiences pain just like our body does and can feel threatened when criticised.Empower growth: Elevate yourself through self-improvement.
“If you focus on the hurt you continue to suffer. If you focus on the lesson, you continue to grow.” – Anon
Let us look at an example to understand what is going on. If someone is a surgeon and you criticise their abilities as a surgeon, they will feel terrible, but if you tell them that they are an awful dancer, they might just laugh and agree with you. The difference is that they may have an image or an opinion of themselves as a good surgeon but not a good dancer. All our beliefs shape our identity; when they are challenged, we feel hurt. We are unaware of the many notions we have created of ourselves that we have accumulated over the years. The more images we have of ourselves, the more we risk getting hurt. Sometimes our life experiences can make us hyper-sensitive, and we can feel threatened even when no criticism is meant.
Watch this short video to understand why criticism feels painful and difficult to process:
https://humanwisdom.me/course/adults/criticism/s371
When criticised, understanding the mechanism behind the hurt may allow us to respond with intelligence. All criticism offers us an opportunity to learn about ourselves, even though it’s another person’s opinion. We may pause, ask if there is any truth in what is being said, and say sorry or change ourselves to correct our mistakes and start afresh. If we are wise, we could go further and actively welcome feedback from the people in our lives to avoid making mistakes we may not be aware of and keep our relationships healthy.
We may explore our various notions of ourselves and ask how we acquired them, and that understanding may allow us to let most of them go. The ability to accept criticism with wisdom and grace is an important life skill we would all benefit from learning.
To learn how to cope with criticism in ways that aren’t harmful, download the HumanWisdom app or visit humanwisdom.me
