How to avoid relationship conflict ?

“Do what you did at the beginning of a relationship and there won’t be an end.” – Anthony Robbins

We all want happy and content relationships but often find that difficult to practice. Why is that?
Perhaps it is because we do not understand how our minds work. Much of our conflict and unhappiness come from relationships. Understanding them deeply allows us to live in peace, and with joy. https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/ # relationship conflict  

Let us consider two examples.
We all have many psychological needs, which we are unaware of, and that we expect others to fulfil. The closer our relationship, the higher our expectations. We want a balm for our loneliness, to be loved and respected, feel important, be listened to and understood, feel secure, have physical affection, be stimulated, and so on. When these needs are not met, we may respond by losing interest, getting hurt, withdrawing our affection or trying to manipulate the other person to meet them.
If two people are pushing each other to meet their own needs and are not aware of it, they become insensitive and less giving to others, and conflict inevitably follows. If we understand this deeply, we may become aware of our self-interest operating in the background, trying to get our needs met by others, and this awareness brings with it the wisdom for self-awareness. We may then question our needs, take responsibility for them, and at least not blame others for not meeting them. This may open up a dialogue with others because the same process is operating in all of us, leading to a more loving relationship.
All our experiences are stored in our memory from childhood. We call this our conditioning. We identify ourselves with this conditioning which includes our opinions, and it becomes the self or me, and we become protective of it. We scan the world around us and compare what we see with our conditioning and influences that have shaped our lives from the beginning. If it is familiar and something we agree with, we feel comfortable, which brings us satisfaction. If it is unfamiliar or we disagree with it, then there is a conflict in the brain, which we may not be aware of, and we respond by being critical of what we see.
Watch this short video to understand how our conditioning can impact our relationships:
How does conditioning impact relationships?
Our attachment to our conditioning may prevent us from fully connecting with another person in a relationship. In a relationship, this may result in us being critical of how the other person is thinking or behaving, and we may want to change them so that we can feel more satisfied. We assume our opinions are correct because they come from our deep conditioning, and it believes that others must be wrong. This makes it difficult to compromise with another point of view because we are so protective of our own.
If two people are constantly critical of each other and pushing each other to change, it leads to conflict. This process is the same in all humans and happens beyond our awareness. If people can wake up to this awareness operating in the background, it may dissolve the conflict between us and lead to a deeper understanding with more love and empathy than conflict.
“More than money or fame, the best predictor of long-term happiness is the quality of our relationships.” – Anon.
We develop a caring relationship wherever our emotional needs are met – with people, pets, ideas and things. The natural world gives us everything we need to survive but does not meet our emotional needs. Is that why we do not care for it?
There are other ways in which an understanding of ourselves can lead to happier relationships- and these are explored in the Relationship module at humanwisdom.me # relationship conflict