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‘’ Trauma is not what happens to you. It’s what happens inside you’ – Gabor Mate. # mental health

The statistics on mental illness should be a wake-up call for us all. 80% of people say they are moderately to severely stressed and 20-40% say they suffer from anxiety. Addiction is a mental illness and approximately 15% of people are addicted to alcohol, drugs, or gambling. 100,000 people died of a drug overdose in the US alone in 2021. Obesity, which affects 42% of Americans, also originates in our thinking and is a form of mental dysfunction. 5% of adults in the world suffer from depression.
Mental illness translates into physical illness by impacting our immune system and shortening our lifespan, so it is important we try and find an answer.

What makes the human mind, perhaps the most intelligent in the universe, fall prey to mental illness? What can we do to use the amazing capacity of our minds to stay mentally healthy? https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/
To be mentally healthy we need wisdom, which comes from a deeper understanding our ourselves and how our mind works.
Our mind is wired to assume that how we feel is caused by what is happening in the world around us – events make us stressed, people make us unhappy, an uncertain future makes us anxious, the loss of things we loved creates sorrow, being criticised makes us angry, and so on. Our unfulfilled expectations and desires can make us frustrated, angry, and bitter.
If we look more carefully we realise that our mind is reactive and our suffering is caused by the way our mind automatically reacts to what is happening around us, though this is difficult to understand. This reaction comes from our memory bank – the store of everything that has happened to us so far. We are usually not aware of this process.
Consider two examples.
If I am going to sit an exam I am stressed and anxious and naturally assume the exam is causing my stress. It is not the exam, but perhaps the fear of failure, and the consequences of that for my ego, my future, and how others will see me that creates my anxiety. If I see that clearly I can ask a simple question: What is going on in my thinking to make me feel this way? I can then begin a journey of understanding the nature of fear, my fear of failure and seeing how this is making me feel anxious and stressed. I could ask how realistic is the possibility of failure, or what I would do if I failed. I see if I can accept the possibility of failure, my anxiety goes away.# mental health
‘’ Prioritize your mental health as if your life depended on it, because it does’ – Mel Robins.
Consider that I am married and my wife is going out for the evening with her friends. She says she has not had time to cook a meal for the evening and asks me to manage. She normally does all the cooking in the house. I get angry with her for not caring, and blame her for my anger. She gets upset with me, cancels her going out, and the situation escalates. We both end up feeling stressed. I get angry with her over something else the week after, and this pattern continues throughout our marriage. Eventually she gets fed up and decides to leave me. I sink into a depression. I realise my uncontrolled anger destroyed my marriage, but each time I got angry I was so sure I was right, and she was wrong. I now realise that my anger was caused by my own unmet expectations, and my urge to control her behaviour. This is what I had seen when I was growing up and it had become part of my conditioning. By taking ownership of my anger, and understanding its roots in my thinking, it ceases to be a problem and I no longer get angry when things are not going my way. To find out more download the HumanWisdom app or visit humanwisdom.me and explore how it can help you live your best life

‘Obesity is a mental state, brought on by boredom and disappointment’. Cyril Connolly.
42% of Americans and 28% of Britons are obese – which is a BMI over 30. Obesity is linked to diabetes, heart disease, arthritis, stroke, and increases the risk of cancer. The World Health Organization estimates 2.8 million deaths are caused by being overweight and obese every year.

What makes the human mind prone to obesity, despite knowing the problems it can cause? Why are we unable to stop ourselves eating the wrong type of food, or too much of it?
Many weight loss programs focus on changing the amount and type of food we eat, but perhaps we are focusing on the wrong thing, because being overweight is primarily a disorder of thinking. This is why, after a person completes a diet, they rapidly put the weight on again, because all the hidden urges in our thinking that caused the problem in the first place are not understood and continue to operate in the background.
Let us explore some of these hidden drivers in our thinking that contribute to obesity.
Our conditioning around food and drink is powerful. Our idea of what is ‘normal’ is heavily influenced by our past, and our surroundings. If everyone around us is eating a lot of sweets, or drinking regularly, we will so the same. If people we mingle with are overweight, then that gets normalized for us. Or, we may follow the cooking/eating habits we were brought up with. If we grew up in a home where there was a takeaway fast-food culture – we will do the same. We could also be conditioned by the advertisements we see – to buy processed food, for example. https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/
Our mind is constantly searching for pleasure because it likes to be stimulated. This search for pleasure comes from an inner boredom or restlessness which we are usually not aware of. Food is a convenient way for us to get this pleasure. Dining out is all about pleasure and is considered a treat for most of us. A lot of emphasis goes into the presentation and taste of the food. The problem with eating for pleasure is that we tend to overeat because our appetite for pleasure is much more than our appetite for food.
We also eat in response to stress, to make us feel good. 80% of people report feeling moderately to severely stressed so eating in response to stress is quite common. The food we eat in response to stress is comfort food. You are more likely to eat a pudding, rather than a banana when stressed.
Our habits around food, exercise, and sleep play a role too. These habits are difficult to break but being aware of them and being able to question them is the first step in changing them.
All these unconscious drivers create repeating patterns of behavior around food which are difficult to recognize, and to break. Our inner urges are much more powerful than our willpower, which is why it is difficult to stick to a diet.
If we want to address the problem we need to go to the root of it and explore the many hidden drivers in our thinking that contribute to obesity. For this, we need wisdom, which is a deeper awareness and understanding of ourselves and how our minds work. By becoming more aware of our body and the signals of hunger and thirst we can eat when we need to. Wisdom can also help us be less stressed, which can reduce our need to eat just to feel good about ourselves. Questioning our narratives around our food habits can help us break them. Understanding our hidden conditioning influences and our need for pleasure can ensure that we respond with wisdom. To find out more download the HumanWisdom app or visit humanwisdom.me and explore how it can help you live your best life.

‘Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom’ Aristotle
Wisdom is not an easy word to define. Perhaps it includes the ability to understand yourself and others clearly, manage your emotions, make good decisions, have happy relationships, and be at peace with yourself. It is not a fixed state to achieve, but like a river, always flowing. A natural by-product of living with wisdom is compassion. Wisdom teaches self awareness for your personal growth.

Some people think wisdom comes with age, and the older one gets, and the more experiences one accumulates, the wiser one becomes – but that is not always true. Here is why. https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/
When accumulated knowledge is applied to things we do in the world, then experience can help us make better decisions. If I am a doctor, after 30 years of practice I develop a sixth sense, an intuition, which helps me diagnose problems earlier. If I am a firefighter, after 30 years I know how to deal with complex fires, which a younger fireman may not. We confuse this ability to make decisions based on accumulated knowledge, with wisdom, which comes instead from an inner knowing.# self awareness
There are many people who are successful and great at their jobs, but who live without a sense of joy, with sorrows accumulated from their disappointments, with strong prejudices against those who are different, and with anger at those they perceive have hurt them. They make decisions based on their fear, self-interest, and from their unconscious conditioning influences. Many of their relationships are unhappy. They are poor listeners, and have forgotten how to love others. They may have accumulated wealth and fame, but are not at peace with themselves. They need more and more to distract themselves from their own inner sadness and emptiness, which never goes away.
Consider this example. It is an amalgam of several true stories.
Prem was a highly accomplished lawyer who emigrated to the UK 25 years ago. He is successful, well regarded, and on the boards of several companies. He has worked hard to get to where he is, so pushes his only son to do the same. He wants him to be a lawyer like him and take over his practice. He is constantly critical of his son for not studying hard enough, or watching too much TV, or being on his phone, or waking up late. They have many arguments and their relationship gets strained. After much persuasion the son agrees to study law at university, just to please his father, even though he hates the subject. After 2 years he feels desperately unhappy, abandons his degree and comes home. His father is angry and tells him that he has wasted all the money spent on his degree, that he is ungrateful, and will come to nothing in the future. Distraught, the son walks out, and takes to drugs to ease his pain. Prem is heart-broken, and wonders what he did wrong – he just wanted the best for his son.
How could Prem have acted differently, with wisdom? Perhaps he could have understood that it was his unconscious fears and his own conditioning that was behind his desire for his son to become a lawyer. Bullying others into submission, under the guise of loving them is easily done, if one is not aware one is doing so. He did not understand the power of constant criticism to hurt others and the depth of the pain inflicted. Prem had always done what his father had told him, and he expected his son to do the same. If he lived with wisdom he would have understood that loving someone means accepting them completely as they are, and respecting their opinions and choices.
As this story illustrates, wisdom does not always come with age or experience. Instead, it comes from a deeper understanding of ourselves and how our minds work. It comes from being curious about why we think and feel and act in the way we do. It comes from being able to question our assumptions and narratives which we naturally become attached to.
Have you come across a version of this story in your life? # self awareness

To find out more download the HumanWisdom app or visit humanwisdom.me and explore how it can help you live your best life.

‘Self-knowledge is the first step to maturity’ ~ Jane Austen
How can governments and organizations reduce tribalism and factionalism and boost collaboration? It is a question that many organizations grapple with. In this blog we are going to explore how helping everyone develop a deeper self-awareness and self-understanding may address the root cause of the problem. But first, here is a story which illustrates the problem.

I visited the 9/11 memorial in New York recently and was moved by the beautiful water feature where the towers once stood and the wonderful museum with moving stories of bravery on the day. What also struck me was that many intelligence agencies had snippets of information that could have prevented the attacks, and if there was a spirit of collaboration they would have been working together for the common good, and the attacks could have been prevented. But each agency seemed to be in a competition for importance and influence and as a result intelligence sharing did not happen. https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/
This problem is also rife in organizations where one department is at odds with another, and colleagues in the same department are sometimes at war with each other. This contributes to low productivity, poor outcomes, and increased risk. It can also result in a loss of life. In the UK 10 million employees report workplace conflict. 900,00 workers took time off due to this (ACAS). In the US the cost of workplace conflict is estimated at $359 billion/year (CPP Inc., 2008). Companies with a poor corporate culture report a 48% turnover of staff, compared to 13% where there is a healthy one (Columbia University, 2012).
To address any problem, we need to explore the root cause, and in this case it lies in a deeper understanding of how the human mind is wired. There are four hidden drivers in our thinking that contribute to the problem.
Conditioning: We are all conditioned by our environment and past influences. We are not aware of this, and yet become attached to our conditioning. This becomes our ‘normal’ and shapes our opinions and beliefs. Anyone we meet who is different is ‘wrong’ and we either avoid them or try and convince them of our point of view. Conflict follows.
Identity: This is also an unconscious process. If I belong to ‘Department A’ that becomes my identity, and I am at odds with ‘Department B’. We compete for influence and resources in the organization. We are part of the same organization but there is a turf war going on, which does not serve the larger whole.
Self-interest: Our hidden self-interest operates in the background, shaping our thoughts and actions. In any meeting I am always looking out for myself and resist anyone else gaining in influence, even though they may not be interfering in our work in any way. Our self-interest stops us living with integrity and collaborating with each other for the common good.
Comparison: The unconscious process of comparison operates in the background in all of us. If others are better in some way it generates a feeling of envy and resistance, and we blame others for how we are feeling. We often act then to pull the other person down and conflict follows.
A deeper understanding of these hidden drivers in our thinking can help us put them to one side and collaborate with others for the common good. It can also reduce interpersonal conflict. Each person needs to go on a journey of learning about themselves and this awakens wisdom, which can be life-changing in many ways.
Organizations can help by training staff in self-awareness – for their own personal growth. A natural by-product of this is better collaboration and reduced conflict. To be effective this training cannot be done as a one off event because it is quickly forgotten. It also not effective imparted as pure information, though that is a good start. Regular group discussions combined with the use of the app and the built in online journal help users go on a journey of self-awareness, and it is this that brings transformation.
The HumanWisdom app makes this process of self-awareness easy, with more than 60 bite-sized modules and a growing library of content. This awareness is then applied practically to help boost relationship and communication skills, boost collaboration and reduce conflict, and help people meet challenges with much less stress and anxiety.
This wisdom can transform the culture of organizations and they can become happier places to work. This can boost retention, productivity, and litigation and result in better outcomes for all concerned. To find out more download the HumanWisdom app or visit humanwisdom.me and explore how it can help you live your best life.

What is Quiet Quitting, and why do employees love it? A term that has surfaced more recently, quiet quitting refers to a strategy wherein employees oppose the hustling culture of a workplace. It is not about doing the bare minimum but doing exactly how much is required out of an employee from their jobs.

Quiet quitters are setting boundaries regarding working hours to balance their personal and professional lives. It means no late hours, not letting work enter your personal space and maintaining your work tasks efficiently without staying in the office until the wee hours. It strictly follows the essential responsibilities and does what is required, which was agreed upon in the official contract initially. https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/

According to recent data, the Covid19 pandemic has played a significant role in the work environment. A substantial shift to working from remote locations has blurred the lines between professional and personal life. Employees refuse to have mental burnout due to work and spend more time with friends & family, leading to a balanced lifestyle. As a result, people have realised that work is no longer a priority.

How can companies respond to this trend, which directly impacts their productivity? How can they retain their most talented staff?

Companies can help transform the work culture through wisdom and by understanding the emotional needs of staff – to feel valued, listened to, and work in a happy environment with enlightened and supporting managers. Unfortunately, most people quit companies due to poor management and an unhappy working culture. Some ways to boost employee retention at companies include drawing healthy boundaries, setting achievable employee goals, and putting measures to support their mental and physical health.

Employers can support the mental health of employees by offering training in preventing problems from arising in the first place and then active support if someone is struggling. Unfortunately, 70% of staff do not seek help for their mental health problems because of the stigma attached and because they are worried about what employers will think of them. We also need to realise the division between home and work does not exist – in that people carry the problems from home to work, and vice versa – so supporting staff in all aspects of their personal and professional lives is crucial. This is where wellness apps, like the HumanWisdom app can play an important role. It is a low-cost solution for most staff to help them be happy and manage their mental health, with counselling support offered to those who need it.

All the core leadership skills managers need to excel at their jobs and make staff feel valued and supported. A deeper self-understanding, which leads to wisdom, can help managers boost their communication skills, empathy, relationship skills and their resilience to cope with the many challenges they face.

However, it is not all down to the employers, and every employee has a shared responsibility in creating a happier work culture. This means working with a smile, a positive attitude, having relationships without conflict and being supportive of others.

The HumanWisdom app offers a platform where these discussions can take place. In addition, a more profound self-awareness helps develop a positive attitude and happier relationships.

To have healthy relationships at work, acceptance, and self-awareness are essential. We must broaden our idea of what ‘normal’ is beyond our conditioning. This allows us to respond compassionately to people we regard as different.
To understand how to have happy workplace relationships, listen to this podcast –

Workplace Relationships

The HumanWisdom app can help you to manage your mental health, have happier relationships with colleagues, deal with challenges without getting anxious or stressed, and work with a positive attitude. In addition, we can learn to thrive at work by understanding ourselves better through wisdom. To find out more download the HumanWisdom app or visit humanwisdom.me and explore how it can help you live your best life.# Quiet quitting

‘’If you are positive you will see opportunities instead of obstacles’’
Confucius

Finding the right self-motivation to complete your tasks is a task in itself. But, unfortunately, when it comes to working, there is something about the human mind that gets bored and distracted easily, and we easily lose our focus. Sure, there are other exciting things you can do instead, but deadlines are looming, pending tasks are still waiting for you, and our procrastination does not help.

So, how do we stop ourselves from procrastinating to finish our long overdue assignments and be ahead of our deadlines?

Here are some of the ways you can motivate yourself and be a happy co-worker at work. https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/

1. Restrict multitasking

Get organized, break your tasks into smaller pieces, and set them up based on priority. Don’t set unrealistic goals in one day, break them into smaller goals and divide them into each day of your week. By doing this, you will set achievable deadlines and finish most of your work more efficiently. Put every task that is going to take more than half an hour into your calendar.

2. Be open to criticism

It is essential to be open to critical feedback and invite others to offer it to you. Criticism that is good for your professional growth is necessary for you to move up your career ladder. Accept criticism with gratitude, learn from your mistakes, and move forward.

3. Acknowledge your small wins

Rewarding yourself is essential. We look towards our bosses and managers to recognise our talent or reward us with compliments for our work and effort, but they may be busy with their own problems. Hence, it is best to celebrate your own achievements and look at how far you have come. Self-motivation is the key to being happy at work.

4. Don’t bring your problems to work

Set healthy boundaries between your professional and personal life. Being preoccupied with your emotional problems will hamper your work and productivity. While working from home, set up a designated workspace where you can sit in silence and work through the day without getting bothered by jobs at home. Let go of your personal problems when you are at work, just as you let go of work while you are at home.

5. Choose positivity

It takes courage to let go of your worries and develop a positive attitude. Don’t be afraid of the outcome, be confident, be yourself, and remain positive. To be happy, we need to do what we like, but we can also choose to enjoy what we do. A positive attitude goes a long way in contributing to our happiness at work. This will give you the energy to complete your tasks more efficiently.

The HumanWisdom app offers a platform where you can learn more about developing a healthy relationship with work. In addition, deeper self-motivation helps create a positive attitude. To stay happy and motivated at work, acceptance, and self-awareness are essential. To find out more download the HumanWisdom app or visit humanwisdom.me and explore how it can help you live your best life.

Millions of cards were sent this festive season wishing people peace, but it is in short supply this year. This is reflected in the 27 ongoing armed conflicts in the world in 2022, with 2 billion people living in conflict zones and 200,000 people estimated to be injured or killed in Ukraine alone. It is also seen in the animosity and suspicion between different groups – the Republicans and Democrats, the Shias and Sunnis, Indians and Pakistanis, or those on opposite sides of the abortion debate, for example. Or, it’s seen in the conflict in our relationships, and in the lack of peace in ourselves. These different types of conflict seem unconnected, but they have one common root – they all begin in our thinking, so a deeper understanding of why we think feel, and act in the way we do, can open the door to wisdom, and peace.
There are many hidden drivers in our thinking that contribute to conflict. In this article, I explore one of them – the process of conditioning, and how a deeper understanding of it could lead to peace of mind. Our mind is a reactive organ, unaware and not in control of its reactions, which comes from its many past influences, which you can call our conditioning.

All our experiences from childhood are stored in our memory. These form the basis of our opinions, beliefs, and our many identities, to which we become attached. The combination of our physical appearance and our unique memories combine to create the sense of the ‘me’. Our mind seeks to strengthen this sense of ‘me’ through all of its activities – the accumulation of possessions, the need for importance and power, and the pursuit of pleasure, which we equate with happiness. We join groups out of a shared interest, like chess, or based on our identities (National, religious, political, based on skin colour, or sexual orientation) to feel more comfortable and safe. The group becomes part of the ‘me’ – if it is criticized I feel personally criticized, and if it is praised I feel I am being personally praised. As soon as a group forms it seeks to grow in influence and power, and competition starts with other groups. This sows the seeds of conflict which can ultimately lead to war. All this happens without our awareness. Conditioning is not right or wrong, just a fact that needs to be understood. If we understand what is going on, we can be in control and make rational choices for our lives. How to find peace of mind by using wisdom? https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/
If I am attached to a particular identity based on an opinion, political view, or religious belief, I unconsciously start thinking that people who are different are ‘wrong’. I begin to avoid them or try and persuade them to think like me, and further conflict follows – in relationships, between groups, and between countries.
If I am an ordinary human being, without position or authority, what can I do to help make the world a more peaceful place to make peace of mind?
I realize that I need to begin with myself. My curiosity leads me to understand how conditioning creates identity, identity creates division, and division can lead to conflict and war. I become aware of my conditioning and how it has helped create my various identities – national, religious, and political. I see clearly that if I could let go of my attachment to my various identities, there would be no division between me and another human being, and that would contribute to peace of mind to have all people in the world.
At first, this feels strange and I feel resistance to explore my conditioning. As I continue my journey of learning about myself and my conditioning influences, without judging myself as right or wrong, I realize that deep down I am the same human being as everyone else. My attachment to my identity falls away and I feel an amazing sense of freedom. This journey of learning about myself also leads to a sense of peace, and the need to belong to a group and be controlled by its norms also reduces. I still maintain all my relationships, and my cultural links – to food, poetry, and music, for example – but am also open to exploring other points of view. I am curious when I meet people who are different from me – differences enrich my life. I have more empathy and compassion for others because I understand why they think and act in the way they do.
If I no longer identify myself as Russian, and you no longer feel you are Ukranian, can anyone persuade us to kill each other? But what if you are attacked I hear you say, what then? You are always in charge of your life – and will use your wisdom to do the right thing. Wisdom gives you an opportunity to live with a deeper intelligence and make conscious choices in your life. To find out more download the HumanWisdom app or visit humanwisdom.me and explore how it can help you live your best life.

The numbers conceal the suffering of the victims of addiction and the anguish of their loved ones. 100,000 people died of a drug overdose last year in the US, and countless more in the rest of the world. The WHO estimates that drug addiction affects 38 million people worldwide, and alcoholism 380 million. Cocaine is a $130 billion industry in Europe alone, and has flooded the cities. A US congressional committee put the annual cost of opioid addiction at $1.5 trillion. In some cities, cocaine is quicker to order than a pizza. Police chiefs admit the war on drugs has been lost, but we still persist in thinking that if somehow we could cut off the supply of drugs we could get rid of the problem. Did we learn nothing from prohibition? Guidance for taking wise decision-making in critical situations in our life.

What if there was another way, rooted in learning, that could reduce the need to consume illicit drugs? How we can take wise decision-making in a critical time in our life, using wisdom?. We rarely talk about prevention. Imagine if there was a simple solution, rooted in learning about ourselves, which could help prevent this tragedy. Imagine the suffering that could be avoided and the money that could be saved – in policing, prisons, healthcare, etc. In this blog I explore a different approach – using our wisdom to explore what makes the human mind prone to addiction in the first place despite knowing of its dangers; and if that clarity of understanding can help us prevent it, and address the problem at its root. Whether it is drugs, alcohol, gambling, or internet addiction – the internal drivers are the same. https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/.
There are three common hidden drivers in our thinking that make our minds prone to addiction. They are not right or wrong, but just need to be explored and understood so they do not operate from behind the curtain of our awareness, shaping our behavior in ways that harm us.
The first of these is our conditioning or our various influences. If I am part of a group or culture where taking drugs is normal, I begin to do that too, often just to fit in. Or, if I am at a party and a group of people are taking drugs and seem to be having a great time, I want to join in the fun. I may have read some accounts of people who took drugs and said they had a great time, and I feel I want to experience that thrill too. The reason conditioning is so powerful in shaping our behavior is that we are usually not aware we are being conditioned by our environment, and think the idea of taking drugs, for example, is originally ours. If one is not aware of them, our conditioning influences can be powerful and overwhelm any thought which may whisper that it’s a bad idea to take drugs.
The second driver, and perhaps the most powerful of the three, is our need to escape from our emotional pain. I use that term broadly to refer to any disturbance in our thinking for which there is no easy solution – it includes the ache of feeling less than others; suffering a loss of a job or loved one; the misery of failure; the pain of unrealized desires; a feeling of not being loved and feeling lonely; or the ache of our inner emptiness and boredom. The force behind our need to escape our inner pain is powerful and any thought that says it may not be a good idea to hit the bottle is brushed aside. Much of our sorrow is of our own creation, but that is a subject for another blog.
The third driver is our mind’s need for stimulation and pleasure, as a balm for the emptiness we feel inside. Sometimes we are not aware of that feeling of emptiness because we keep ourselves so busy from morning to night. The modern age offers endless stimulation through the internet, which can also become a habit that is difficult to break. The nature of pleasure is such that when it ends it leaves a void that needs to be filled by yet more pleasure – the same amount won’t do. The one glass of wine a day soon becomes a bottle a day, and before we know it we have developed an alcohol addiction. We boast about our drinking and the fun we had, not pausing to understand that alcohol is a known toxin and linked to so many diseases. We never examine that inner emptiness that drives our need for pleasure and ‘fun’. There is nothing wrong with pleasure, by the way, it is an important part of being human. Wise decision-making is crucial for navigating life’s challenges and achieving success in various aspects of our lives. Having understood all this, what is the next step? How can we understand our conditioning, deal with our emotional pain without escaping from it, and understand pleasure so it has its rightful place in our life? I wish just reading this blog was enough to prevent the scourge of addiction but these drivers in us are powerful and need to be understood as they operate in us. We need to go on a journey of learning about ourselves in a gentle way, with a mind that is open to learning, and not judge ourselves as good or bad, right or wrong. That time we have to take wise decision-making. That is why we created the HumanWisdom app, to give each person the tools to understand themselves deeply, access their own innate wisdom, use that wisdom to meet life’s challenges with serenity and transform their own life. With this wisdom much of our sorrow can be avoided and more easily dealt with, reducing the need to escape through addiction. The app explores all the subjects dealt with in this article in depth. To find out more download the HumanWisdom app or visit humanwisdom.me and explore how it can help you live your best life.

Dear Harry and William,
Like all siblings who fall out, you must both be hurting and your father perhaps even more so, to see his sons unhappy and not on talking terms. This letter is for you, but also for people everywhere whose relationships sour and end up in conflict. Your suffering is not unique – the same patterns are repeated everywhere.
How can wisdom, which comes from a deeper self-understanding, help you to heal your relationship, and perhaps even more importantly, stop relationships breaking down in the first place? How can wisdom help to rebuilding trust in relationships?

Our mind assumes that others are responsible for the hurt we feel, but if we look carefully, our pain comes from how our mind reacts to situations, because another person may react very differently and not be hurt in the same way. Join me as we go on a journey to understand why our mind automatically reacts in the way that it does, and how that deeper understanding can bring illumination, freedom, compassion, and peace.https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/
All of us are conditioned by our many experiences and influences which are stored in our memory and become the ‘me’, including our old traumas. We are not aware we are conditioned and yet become attached to our conditioning. All our opinions, beliefs and narratives of how we see the world come from this pool of conditioning, which is ever-changing as we gather new experiences. We assume we are right, and those who see things differently are wrong. We try to convince others of our point of view and if they do not agree, we can withdraw or get upset. Conflict follows.
Unknown to us, our minds compare all the time – it’s an essential function and how we make sense of the world. But it can also cause envy and feelings of being less than others, and we can blame the hurt we feel on how others are behaving, even if they had no intention of hurting us. We do not see that our hurt is caused by the hidden process of comparison in our own thinking. It does not help that others may compare us to our siblings and this reinforces our narrative.
We all have emotional needs we expect others to meet and when these needs are not met we can get hurt and blame them for how we feel. This may be for love, or recognition, or to feel important, or to be listened to and understood. The closer our relationship the greater our expectations of others. We are not aware that these expectations come from our own thinking process and always regard them as reasonable. These needs are not wrong, but we are usually not aware of them. It is not easy to accept that our feeling of being hurt comes from our own unmet expectations.
We rarely communicate with wisdom. We often do not listen deeply enough to what is not being said, or pause before speaking to ask how it is going to be received. When we are criticised, our hurt and anger can make us lash out, saying things we may not mean and without a regard to the consequences.
When any relationship breaks down we blame each other and are able to cite situations where the other person behaved badly. We recruit others to agree with us, to justify our narrative of what happened. We have an urge to be right and believe we have been wronged. If we zoom out of the situation and look at the entire timeline of the relationship, we can see it is just a series of reactions in a domino fashion. Each person picks the episodes in the timeline that justify their narrative, overlooking their own role in the breakdown of the relationship. This is not unique to you. We all do it. wisdom tech how we are all rebuilding trust in relationships.
One more factor that plays out in the background is our inherent self-interest. It is wired into the way our mind functions. We are usually not aware of it and don’t want to admit it because we don’t want to feel we are selfish. If we look carefully though, it plays a role in most of the decisions we make, including in our relationships.
How can we apply this deeper understanding of ourselves to have healthy relationships, prevent problems, and heal the cracks that appear? how do we rebuilding trust in relationships?
Begin gently. Let your anger go for starters. Realize you are brothers, and deep down are the same human being. Your anger harms you and the people you love, and no one in the family can be happy as a result.
There is a simple 3-step process we can all follow. The first step is to be aware of what we are feeling, for example, we may be feeling hurt, or envious. The second step is to take ownership of how we are feeling and accept that the feeling comes from within us, without blaming ourselves or others. This is not easy. The last step is to ask a simple question – What is going on in our mind to make us feel this way? Doing the work of looking and learning about ourselves translates what we may have read, for example in this article, into a living reality in ourselves. This is like switching a light on in our own mind, and with this understanding, we can see that deep down we are all the same human beings – others also act from their conditioning, self-interest, and feeling of being hurt – as we do. Their mind is also comparing and they are not aware of it. They have expectations they are not aware of which they expect others to meet – just as we do. This understanding brings compassion because we see others are not aware of what is going on in the deeper layers of their own thinking, and that leads to compassion. With compassion, we can forgive ourselves and others, and this can heal the most intractable problems in rebuilding trust in relationships. This wisdom can prevent these problems from occurring in the first place. This leads to peace.
May you both find the courage to pursue this peace for yourselves. It will ease so much suffering all around, especially for your father, whom you both love in your own way. To find out more download the HumanWisdom app or visit humanwisdom.me and explore how it can help you live your best life.

Imagine a simple solution, based on learning, that could help people manage their own mental health, have happier relationships, and improve productivity at the same time. how to boost productivity and well-being at work.
In a recent survey, the US Surgeon General estimated that 76% of employees had at least one symptom of a mental health problem. 81% said they would be looking for workplaces that support mental health in the future. In a separate survey, a 2022 Gallup poll found that only 21% of employees were ‘engaged’ at work, 44% reported high levels of stress, and this was costing the global economy $7.8 trillion/year. They also found companies with high levels of engagement were 22% more productive. They defined engagement as employees who were keen to go to work. Your organization is probably no exception. The relationship between well-being, engagement, and productivity is clear.

How can organizations boost the well-being of their employees in an effective way, and thus boost their own productivity? https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/
The first step is to realize the importance of well-being at work, and not regard it as an employee perk and a tick-box exercise. If the CEO participates in the program and signals its importance, the rest of the organization will take it seriously as well.
Wellness is a complex subject and deciding what to do about it can be confusing. Most wellness programs are reactive, after the event, and deal with the symptoms, rather than the root cause. People bring their problems from home to work, and vice versa, so we need to address the entire person and support them in all areas of their life. We need to support people to deal with stress (80%), anxiety (20-40%), depression (8.4% in the US), relationship conflict (50%), addiction (10-20%), obesity (42% in the US), low self-esteem, bereavement and so on. #well-being at work
If someone is unhappy they are more likely to be disgruntled, focus on the negative, collaborate less, complain more, and be less engaged because they are preoccupied with their own emotional distress. #well-being at work
Preventing a fire is so much easier (and cheaper) than dealing with the consequences. Similarly, preventing all these problems through proactive intervention is better than reacting after the event.
Though all these problems seem disparate they have one common root – most are an automatic reaction from our thinking to external events. To get rid of stress for example we can either change the event (which is often not possible), or change our reaction to it. To change our reaction, we need to take ownership of our thoughts and feelings, and be curious as to why our mind is reacting in the way it is. Why do others react differently and not get stressed by the same situation? This curiosity opens the door to learning about ourselves and how our minds work, which leads to wisdom. This wisdom illuminates our thinking, and in the light of this wisdom many problems can dissolve, or we can deal with the challenges we face with a calm mind.
With this clarity we can be mentally healthy, less stressed and anxious, have better relationships, be happier, avoid and overcome addiction, and live with a positive and more generous attitude, being grateful and celebrating what we have, rather than moaning about what we don’t. This can also help us develop our communication and leadership skills, be emotionally intelligent, more resilient, and live with courage and integrity. This approach is simple, but the impact can be profound.
The HumanWisdom app helps people feel better now with breathing exercises and meditations and then takes them deeper to understand the root cause of problems for lasting benefit. It has detailed modules on stress, anxiety, addiction, happiness, managing emotions, criticism, relationships, communication, leadership, making better decisions, and being happy at work. It supports users to go on a journey of learning about themselves, connecting with their own wisdom, and living their best life. It has features like an online journal, a forum, short videos, podcasts, guided questions, exercises to boost self-awareness, life stories, and audio meditations. People who are happier in themselves are naturally more engaged and productive and well-being at work.
The app is part of the HumanWisdom Project that aims to help each person live their best life and make the world a better place. In addition to the HumanWisdom app for adults, they are developing sections for children, teenagers, and for parents. To find out more visit humanwisdom.me or download the HumanWisdom app – it’s free to download and has plenty of free content.