What is conditioning? https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/ In this blog, we will explore the subject of conditioning- which is a process by which all of our past experiences are stored in our memory and then act from behind the screen of our awareness to influence our thoughts and actions. When we are young, we may think that the opinions we have are ours, and the decisions we make about our life are also ours, but in truth, they are just a response to our particular conditioning. Let us go through some examples of conditioning. If one person reads a right-wing newspaper that is critical of immigration, for example, then that becomes their opinion. If someone else reads a left-wing newspaper that supports it, they begin to think it’s a good thing. When they meet and have an argument about immigration, they just repeat what they have read- except now it has become ‘their’ opinion which they want to defend. They have been conditioned – in this case by the media. Or if you are born in Belfast, depending on which street you lived you would grow up as a Catholic or as a Protestant and adopt the views and beliefs of the people around you. Or if you live in the US, you may think it’s every person’s right to carry a gun, but if you live in Europe you think that’s not right. If we have suffered some traumatic experience it conditions us, and in some cases for a lifetime. In this way, we are conditioned by our parents, our society, the media, our culture, and all our experiences. Our conditioning affects every aspect of our lives including our relationships, our opinions, our career choices, our sense of what we can do in life, and our daily habits. This process of conditioning is common to all human beings and we never question it because we are not aware of the process occurring in the background. Hundreds of billions of dollars are spent every year by various organizations to try and influence people to think in a particular way. They would not do that if they did not think the human mind can be easily influenced. In order to live an intelligent life, and not be controlled by outside influences and our own past, it is absolutely vital to wake up and question our conditioning and see the link between that and our thoughts and actions. That awareness brings its own intelligence and change occurs without effort. We realize then that we do not have to be slaves to our past, and all our conditioning. We cannot erase our memories as that would be foolish, but we can break that link between our past and our present through inquiry and awareness, and live a much more intelligent and rich life. Understanding the process of conditioning may also allow us to live with compassion because we can see that others are just acting from their particular past, just as we do from ours. To find out more please visit humanwisdom.me.
Understanding ourselves In order to be happy and do well in life we need to get on with others and understand them. The best way of doing that is to understand ourselves deeply because as we have explored before, the human mind functions in the same way in all of us.# self-discovery
Understanding ourselves also leads to a sense of inner peace. So- how do we begin? Just as we see a bird flying across the sky, just watching it without commenting, we could observe our thoughts and feelings as they rise in us.# self-discovery . That’s the first step. The second step is to go deeper and explore where these thoughts and feelings come from and the hidden mechanisms behind them. In that exploration lies a wealth of understanding which brings intelligence, wisdom, and change that can occur without effort. This journey of self-inquiry needs no special expertise, just a keenness to find out and a certain sensitivity. It is important that we are honest with ourselves and accept what we find. It is also important not to judge ourselves as good or bad because that blocks further questioning. Here are 2 examples. Suppose we go and see a movie with some friends. Some think it was wonderful, and others didn’t like it at all. The discussion gets quite heated. ‘Why does everyone have a different opinion of the same movie, and why are we so attached to our particular view? On exploring further it is clear that our perception of a situation and hence our opinion is determined by the content of our memory- which includes all our past experiences and our conditioning. https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/ Because the opinions come from our minds, we get attached to them and want to defend them. We are not aware of this process working in the background. We are sure our opinions are correct and never question them. Others do the same and that can lead to conflict. This applies to all walks of life. Understanding this process may allow us to explore situations from different perspectives, without being attached to a single one, and this would make our interactions with others so much easier. Another example could be noticing in a conversation how poorly we all listen to each other. We are more interested in speaking about ourselves and less interested in others. Most people are not aware of this. If we explored it further, we would realize that speaking about ourselves strengthens the ‘me’ and that brings us pleasure. This understanding may make us better listeners and improve all our relationships. In this way, we can explore the entire spectrum of our thoughts and feelings. The understanding that flows from this will help us get on better with others. It will also make us more comfortable in our own skin and result in a sense of inner peace. To find out more please visit humanwisdom.me. # self-discovery
Our education system is failing children and teachers. This is how we can fix it.# learning
The purpose of this thinkpiece is to ask questions of our global education system, to create a discussion and to look at education with fresh eyes. The world is changing rapidly, at a pace we are struggling to keep up with. Our education system is at a standstill, based as it is in the era of the industrial revolution. We are in the age of the technological revolution, a communication revolution, and an information revolution.
Wisdom has never been more needed to address the challenges the world faces. Wisdom can begin by asking questions, especially those we usually don’t ask. https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/
Have we got education upside down? The root of the word ‘education’ is ‘educere’ which means ‘to draw out.’ Do we believe our children come into the world as empty vessels waiting to be filled with knowledge, skills and understanding? Or do they come into the world with built in abilities; innate curiosity, creativity, well-being, resilience, intelligence, and happiness?
Watch children as they look at the world around them. Everything is new, all is to be explored. A child taking their first steps does not give up after the first attempt. Falling down after each attempt is not labelled as a failure. The same child does not look at other toddlers taking their first steps and think how much better the other children are at walking. Parents do not judge their child for the first failures, or even consider them a failure. It is part of the natural process of learning that is innate in every child.
Watch the children in a Nursery as they play imaginatively without consideration for how they might look to others. The imagination they are born with runs wild as they express themselves freely. A child who paints their first picture is not assessed or judged then given a label as a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ artist. They are celebrated for using the qualities within them and encouraged to keep going. But this raises another question:
Does our school system educate these qualities into our children or out of them? As our children move on from early years education we begin to give less importance to these innate qualities in favour of an ever narrowing range of subjects. We begin the measuring, labelling, comparing and judging process that is built into our system. We look at a narrow range of abilities such as academic subjects and the children are shown that if they can meet the expectations of the teachers in that narrow range of subjects, or do well in exams, then they will be a ‘success.’ If they don’t, they will be a ‘failure’.
What do we mean by that word success? A world where you are successful if you are better than the person next to you? A world of competition and a race to the top rather than collaboration for the benefit of all? Should schools, colleges and universities be competing with each other to attain a better set of exam results, or try and get the ‘best’ students so their grades will be higher?
We have an education system that measures children, compares them, then places them in a band of below average, average or above average. A system that judges them based on those measurements and tells them if they are successful or failures. We do this because we think knowledge is important. It is, but is it important to memorise it and test students on that ability, when it is all easily accessible on the phone or computer anyway?
By giving them so much information to assimilate and memorise are we destroying their own curiosity and their love for learning?
When we measure, compare, label and judge our children are we teaching them to do the same to themselves? Are we guilty of creating the problems we see in the world today? These include mental health issues, stress, anxiety, body image problems – the list goes on.
Do the labels we place on our children lead them to believe they are limited, and have nothing unique to offer the world? Does it encourage them to follow a path in life that is not their true calling, but based on fear, or what others expect of them?
Do we then apply the same principles of measuring, comparing, labelling and judging to our teachers and to the institutions in which they serve? Are the labels and judgements we place on our schools and teachers enabling them to make the difference they want to make in the lives of our children, or is it creating a narrow curriculum which is disempowering teachers and leading to frustration, stress, burnout and a disenfranchised profession?
Is there an overreliance on a knowledge-based curriculum in a world where information is available literally at our fingertips? Knowledge plays its part. But the biggest leaps of mankind have come from the innate wisdom and genius that is within us. Helping children tap into their innate wisdom should be the real purpose of education. This wisdom comes from a deeper self-understanding and brings creativity, intelligence and curiosity to the forefront and enables us to live with joy, and find solutions to our problems.
If our current model of education is the cause of these problems, then it could also be the solution. At present we teach children merely about the world around them, but not about themselves. As a result, they may know all about chemistry or maths, but do not know how to make good decisions for their lives, deal with stress and anxiety, have healthy relationships, avoid addiction, be kind, or live with a sense of peace. By including self-knowledge into the curriculum children would be able to access their own wisdom and have the tools to be successful as human beings, and also be successful in the world.
It is time for a fresh approach where knowledge has its place, but memorising and repeating it is less important. Instead we need to nurture the innate curiosity and love for learning which children already have. This learning needs to be about themselves, as well as the world around them.
If we are to change the future of humanity, we need to begin by having a fresh approach to education. We need to change education so it no longer adds to the stress and anxiety young people feel, but helps them be happy, mentally and physically healthy, and have the wisdom and skills to deal with the many challenges the coming century will bring. This is what we are trying to do with the Human Wisdom Project. To find out more listen to this podcast https://humanwisdom.podbean.com/e/human-wisdom-project/, and visit https://humanwisdom.me. You can also download the HumanWisdom app from the Apple or Google store.# learning
This is a short video introduction to the HumanWisdom app – https://youtu.be/GYbpYnkGJ0U If you would like to begin a conversation or get involved, please contact: Dominic Curran, Head of Education, Human Wisdom Project. dominic@humanwisdom.me.
Improve educational outcomes: Research has shown that stress and anxiety is common among students. In a survey 80% of students said stress impacts learning. Stress also impacts the ability of teachers to teach to the best of their ability. By addressing this we can boost outcomes. # problem-solving skills
Prevent mental health problems: Many problems originate in our thinking. By understanding why we think, feel, and act in the ways we do, we can be mentally healthier.# problem-solving skills Deal with stress and anxiety: The app offers many tools to deal with stress and anxiety-like breathing exercises, journaling, zooming out, changing perspective etc. It is in your pocket – to help deal with a crisis. 70% of students don’t seek help – and this app could be the answer. https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/ Happier relationships: A deeper understanding of ourselves allows us to understand others better – this is invaluable for healthy relationships – now and in the future – at home and at work. Understand and question their many influences: Young people are subject to a torrent of influences via social media. By understanding how they can be unconsciously conditioned by their influences, they can question them and live with wisdom. E.g. Not blindly follow the latest trend. Live without Envy/ Low self-esteem: By understanding the unconscious process of comparison in their own thinking, they can learn to only compare themselves with others when they need to, and can avoid feelings of envy, low self-esteem etc. They can then learn to follow their own path in life. Develop emotional intelligence: They can learn how to understand and better manage all their emotions like anger, loneliness, desire, sorrow, pleasure and sadness. Communications skills: The module on communication teaches students how to listen deeply, speak with care, and develop empathy. This is invaluable for work, and all our relationships. Leadership skills: The leadership module teaches students how to first be an inner leader, and in charge of themselves. It also helps them develop all the skills needed for leadership, all of which come from wisdom. Eg. Integrity, courage, compassion, emotional intelligence etc. Not be prisoners of their fears: By understanding the roots of fear in their thinking, and how it shapes all our lives, students can grow in freedom and not allow their unconscious and conscious fears to dictate the course of their lives. Prepare them for an uncertain future: The 21st century is going to present students with many challenges. The jobs they will do have not been created yet. They will need to be flexible, deal with uncertainty, and be creative. They also need to learn to deal with failure. Living with wisdom can help with all of these. Discover their true calling: There are so many pressures on students these days – from parents, society, social media etc. and it can be very confusing for them to decide what they want to do with their life. A deeper self-understanding can help them find out what they love to do and discover their true calling in life. Listen to this podcast on the subject: https://humanwisdom.podbean.com/e/finding-our-true-purpose-in-life/ Develop empathy and compassion: Understanding ourselves helps us to understand others – and realize that deep down we are the same human being – this allows us to have empathy and compassion for others, and work for a better world. Avoid the perils of addiction: About 10-12% of the population in most studies suffers from addiction. A deeper understanding of the hidden drivers in our thinking that drive us to addiction can help us avoid it, and more easily overcome it – these include our conditioning, our inability to cope with, and need to escape from emotional pain, and our need for pleasure and stimulation. Listen to this podcast on the subject: https://humanwisdom.podbean.com/e/avoiding-and-overcoming-addiction/ Develop a healthy relationship with food: In the US (the same problem occurs everywhere) 42% of people are obese (with all the health problems that follow) and 11% have an eating disorder. Understanding why these problems occur can help us avoid them – e.g. conditioning, our need for pleasure, and using food as a way of dealing with stress. To find out more download the HumanWisdom app or visit humanwisdom.me and explore how it can help you live your best life. # problem-solving skills
3 ways wisdom can be life-changing Imagine… A life free of stress. A life without anxiety. A life with happy relationships. All this seems utopian given the challenges we all face, but that may be because we have been looking in the wrong place for the answers. Wisdom, which comes from a deeper understanding of ourselves and how our minds work, offers us a different way of being in the world, and a fresh way of dealing with problems # decision-making Let’s explore 3 ways living with this wisdom could be life-changing.
If we are sitting an exam our mind assumes that the exam is causing our stress. Or if we are stuck in a traffic jam we assume that it is the traffic jam that is making us stressed. If we use our wisdom we can see that stress is just an automatic reaction from our thinking to an external event, because not everyone is stressed, and not to the same degree. It is the difference between how things are and how we want them to be. We seem to have no control over that reaction. # decision-making
To be free of stress we can either change the event, or change our reaction to it. Often we cannot change the event, or another person, but we can change how we react. To do that we need to understand why our mind reacts in the way it does. That journey of understanding ourselves opens the door to wisdom which can help us avoid and overcome stress. You can discover this wisdom for yourself, because you already have it within you, and it can be life-changing.
Living with wisdom can bring lasting freedom. Now, wouldn’t that be amazing? # decision-making
How can wisdom help us be less anxious?
Anxiety causes so much suffering and we seem to have no control over it, but wisdom can help us be free of it.
When we are afraid or anxious and we distract ourselves and think of something else, our anxiety goes away, suggesting that it is a product of our thinking. Our mind assumes our anxiety comes from the outside – from exams, or work, or a lack of money, but if we use our wisdom to look carefully we can see that it is just a reaction from our thinking, because everyone is not affected in the same way. Our fears control and shape our lives in many ways we are not aware of and are a product of our unconscious thinking.
Understanding ourselves and how our minds work, opens the door to wisdom and this allows us to understand the root cause of fear in our thinking. With this understanding anxiety can be prevented and more easily overcome, and this can set us free to live life to the full. After all, the ultimate freedom is freedom from undue fear, and this can be life-changing.
1 in 5 adults and 1 in 3 students suffer from anxiety, so you are not alone. Begin your own journey to wisdom and discover how you can be free.
How can wisdom help us have happier relationships?
Our happiness depends on the quality of our relationships. Even if one of our relationships at home or at work is unhappy, we struggle to be happy. How can wisdom help us have enduring relationships with depth and without conflict?
The more we understand ourselves the easier it is to understand others because deep down we are the same human being and our mind functions in similar ways. We all have emotional needs we are not aware of – a need to be understood, loved, accepted, feel important, and listened to, for example. We expect others to meet these needs, and when they are not met we become unhappy and blame others for our unhappiness. Others expect us to meet their needs, and conflict follows. Understanding this allows us to respond with wisdom. # decision-making
We get easily hurt when our expectations are not met and react by getting angry, withdrawing our affection, finding other ways to retaliate, or leaving the relationship. Wisdom allows us to understand what is going on in our own thinking, take ownership of how we feel, and begin a healing conversation with others.
The art of successful relationships is one we can all learn and it can transform our life.
To find out more and explore each of these topics in depth download the HumanWisdom app on the Apple or Google store, or visit https://humanwisdom.me. It is free to browse.
This is a short video introduction to the HumanWisdom app – https://youtu.be/GYbpYnkGJ0U
An old aborigine elder once said – ‘Traveller there is no path. Paths are made by walking. Wisdom allows us to be the change we want to see in the world and live our best lives. To find out more download the HumanWisdom app or visit humanwisdom.me and explore how it can help you live your best life.# decision-making
Introduction – Wisdom, which comes from a deeper understanding of ourselves, can lead to greater self-awareness and help relationships flourish. We have so many relationships through our lives – with parents, children, friends and work-colleagues. They can bring us so much happiness, but can be equally heart-breaking if they are dysfunctional. ‘If humanity has to survive we must cultivate the science of relationships – the ability of all people to live together in peace’ – Franklin D Roosevelt With 60+ modules the HumanWisdom app gives you the tools to access your own wisdom, understand your own ego, and then apply this to enhance every aspect of your life, including your relationships. It could help your relationships flourish in many ways:
Listen with depth We all have a need to be listened to, but not the same need to listen. Listening with depth is a skill we can all learn, and this can enhance all our relationships. https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/
Understand what is not being said Being able to understand others clearly, including what is not being said, can deepen our connection with others, and avoid misunderstandings.
Speak with care Wisdom helps us learn to speak with care, and consider how it is going to be received before speaking.
Be more flexible Understanding our attachment to our own point of view can help us be more flexible and this can help avoid conflict.
Criticise others carefully If we are not aware, the constant criticising of others can strain our relationships. Wisdom allow us to be sparing in our criticism and offer it carefully.
Live without Envy By understanding the unconscious process of comparison in our own thinking, we can learn to only compare ourselves with others only when we need to, and avoid feelings of envy, low self-esteem and resentment – which can reduce stress and relationship conflict.
Develop emotional intelligence By understanding ourselves we can better manage our emotions like unhappiness, anger, sadness, or loneliness. This helps us have happier relationships.
Understand emotional needs We have many emotional needs we are not aware of which we expect others to meet. When they are not met we get hurt, and angry. Understanding them allows us to respond with wisdom.
Be kind Our mind is usually thinking of itself and how its needs can be met. This leaves no space for kindness. Realising this allows us to respond with wisdom, and go out of our way to be kind to others.
Develop a positive attitude A positive attitude is something we need to consciously develop, because our minds have a natural negativity bias. This allows us to overlook the faults in others. ‘The beginning of love is to let someone be perfectly themselves, without trying to fit them into our image’ – Thomas Merton
Realise that your anger comes from you Wisdom allows us to understand that our anger comes from ourselves – it’s a reaction to a feeling of being hurt or disappointed. Anger can harm relationships and this understanding allows us to respond with wisdom.
Receive criticism without reacting Being able to receive feedback and criticism with intelligence is a skill we can all learn. Being open to listen to negative feedback and act on it can keep all our relationships healthy, for the long term.
Understand expectations In all our relationships we carry many expectations of how we want others to behave. When these expectations are not met we can get hurt, get angry and this can strain our relationships. A deeper understanding of where our expectations come from allows us to respond with wisdom.
See people freshly. Be grateful. Our mind usually takes what it already has for granted and focuses on what it does not have. Wisdom allows us to be grateful for what we do have, and see people freshly.
Learn to love Wisdom allows us to love others for their sake, and not just because of what they do for us. Love is acceptance, and wisdom allows us to accept people as they are and not try and change them.
Learn about yourself Relationships offer a mirror in which we can learn about ourselves and grow as human beings. Every reaction we have teaches us something new about ourselves – if we are open to learning.
Learn to forgive To keep relationships healthy, we must learn to forgive others and overlook what we perceive to be their faults. Wisdom awakens compassion and makes forgiveness easier, because we see that deep down we are the same human being.
Have deeper, more meaningful connections with others It is beautiful when our relationships have depth and meaning – we feel closer to others, and less lonely. To get closer to others we need to overcome our fear and be more vulnerable – sharing what we really feel. Wisdom can help us do this.
Learn to respect differences We become unconsciously attached to our own conditioning and want others to think and behave like us. Wisdom allows us to respect differences because we have a deeper understanding of what is going on in our own thinking. To find out more download the HumanWisdom app or visit humanwisdom.me and explore how it can help you live your best life.
‘’ Trauma is not what happens to you. It’s what happens inside you’ – Gabor Mate. # mental health
The statistics on mental illness should be a wake-up call for us all. 80% of people say they are moderately to severely stressed and 20-40% say they suffer from anxiety. Addiction is a mental illness and approximately 15% of people are addicted to alcohol, drugs, or gambling. 100,000 people died of a drug overdose in the US alone in 2021. Obesity, which affects 42% of Americans, also originates in our thinking and is a form of mental dysfunction. 5% of adults in the world suffer from depression. Mental illness translates into physical illness by impacting our immune system and shortening our lifespan, so it is important we try and find an answer.
What makes the human mind, perhaps the most intelligent in the universe, fall prey to mental illness? What can we do to use the amazing capacity of our minds to stay mentally healthy? https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/ To be mentally healthy we need wisdom, which comes from a deeper understanding our ourselves and how our mind works. Our mind is wired to assume that how we feel is caused by what is happening in the world around us – events make us stressed, people make us unhappy, an uncertain future makes us anxious, the loss of things we loved creates sorrow, being criticised makes us angry, and so on. Our unfulfilled expectations and desires can make us frustrated, angry, and bitter. If we look more carefully we realise that our mind is reactive and our suffering is caused by the way our mind automatically reacts to what is happening around us, though this is difficult to understand. This reaction comes from our memory bank – the store of everything that has happened to us so far. We are usually not aware of this process. Consider two examples. If I am going to sit an exam I am stressed and anxious and naturally assume the exam is causing my stress. It is not the exam, but perhaps the fear of failure, and the consequences of that for my ego, my future, and how others will see me that creates my anxiety. If I see that clearly I can ask a simple question: What is going on in my thinking to make me feel this way? I can then begin a journey of understanding the nature of fear, my fear of failure and seeing how this is making me feel anxious and stressed. I could ask how realistic is the possibility of failure, or what I would do if I failed. I see if I can accept the possibility of failure, my anxiety goes away.# mental health ‘’ Prioritize your mental health as if your life depended on it, because it does’ – Mel Robins. Consider that I am married and my wife is going out for the evening with her friends. She says she has not had time to cook a meal for the evening and asks me to manage. She normally does all the cooking in the house. I get angry with her for not caring, and blame her for my anger. She gets upset with me, cancels her going out, and the situation escalates. We both end up feeling stressed. I get angry with her over something else the week after, and this pattern continues throughout our marriage. Eventually she gets fed up and decides to leave me. I sink into a depression. I realise my uncontrolled anger destroyed my marriage, but each time I got angry I was so sure I was right, and she was wrong. I now realise that my anger was caused by my own unmet expectations, and my urge to control her behaviour. This is what I had seen when I was growing up and it had become part of my conditioning. By taking ownership of my anger, and understanding its roots in my thinking, it ceases to be a problem and I no longer get angry when things are not going my way. To find out more download the HumanWisdom app or visit humanwisdom.me and explore how it can help you live your best life
‘Obesity is a mental state, brought on by boredom and disappointment’. Cyril Connolly. 42% of Americans and 28% of Britons are obese – which is a BMI over 30. Obesity is linked to diabetes, heart disease, arthritis, stroke, and increases the risk of cancer. The World Health Organization estimates 2.8 million deaths are caused by being overweight and obese every year.
What makes the human mind prone to obesity, despite knowing the problems it can cause? Why are we unable to stop ourselves eating the wrong type of food, or too much of it? Many weight loss programs focus on changing the amount and type of food we eat, but perhaps we are focusing on the wrong thing, because being overweight is primarily a disorder of thinking. This is why, after a person completes a diet, they rapidly put the weight on again, because all the hidden urges in our thinking that caused the problem in the first place are not understood and continue to operate in the background. Let us explore some of these hidden drivers in our thinking that contribute to obesity. Our conditioning around food and drink is powerful. Our idea of what is ‘normal’ is heavily influenced by our past, and our surroundings. If everyone around us is eating a lot of sweets, or drinking regularly, we will so the same. If people we mingle with are overweight, then that gets normalized for us. Or, we may follow the cooking/eating habits we were brought up with. If we grew up in a home where there was a takeaway fast-food culture – we will do the same. We could also be conditioned by the advertisements we see – to buy processed food, for example. https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/ Our mind is constantly searching for pleasure because it likes to be stimulated. This search for pleasure comes from an inner boredom or restlessness which we are usually not aware of. Food is a convenient way for us to get this pleasure. Dining out is all about pleasure and is considered a treat for most of us. A lot of emphasis goes into the presentation and taste of the food. The problem with eating for pleasure is that we tend to overeat because our appetite for pleasure is much more than our appetite for food. We also eat in response to stress, to make us feel good. 80% of people report feeling moderately to severely stressed so eating in response to stress is quite common. The food we eat in response to stress is comfort food. You are more likely to eat a pudding, rather than a banana when stressed. Our habits around food, exercise, and sleep play a role too. These habits are difficult to break but being aware of them and being able to question them is the first step in changing them. All these unconscious drivers create repeating patterns of behavior around food which are difficult to recognize, and to break. Our inner urges are much more powerful than our willpower, which is why it is difficult to stick to a diet. If we want to address the problem we need to go to the root of it and explore the many hidden drivers in our thinking that contribute to obesity. For this, we need wisdom, which is a deeper awareness and understanding of ourselves and how our minds work. By becoming more aware of our body and the signals of hunger and thirst we can eat when we need to. Wisdom can also help us be less stressed, which can reduce our need to eat just to feel good about ourselves. Questioning our narratives around our food habits can help us break them. Understanding our hidden conditioning influences and our need for pleasure can ensure that we respond with wisdom. To find out more download the HumanWisdom app or visit humanwisdom.me and explore how it can help you live your best life.
‘Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom’ Aristotle Wisdom is not an easy word to define. Perhaps it includes the ability to understand yourself and others clearly, manage your emotions, make good decisions, have happy relationships, and be at peace with yourself. It is not a fixed state to achieve, but like a river, always flowing. A natural by-product of living with wisdom is compassion. Wisdom teaches self awareness for your personal growth.
Some people think wisdom comes with age, and the older one gets, and the more experiences one accumulates, the wiser one becomes – but that is not always true. Here is why. https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/ When accumulated knowledge is applied to things we do in the world, then experience can help us make better decisions. If I am a doctor, after 30 years of practice I develop a sixth sense, an intuition, which helps me diagnose problems earlier. If I am a firefighter, after 30 years I know how to deal with complex fires, which a younger fireman may not. We confuse this ability to make decisions based on accumulated knowledge, with wisdom, which comes instead from an inner knowing.# self awareness There are many people who are successful and great at their jobs, but who live without a sense of joy, with sorrows accumulated from their disappointments, with strong prejudices against those who are different, and with anger at those they perceive have hurt them. They make decisions based on their fear, self-interest, and from their unconscious conditioning influences. Many of their relationships are unhappy. They are poor listeners, and have forgotten how to love others. They may have accumulated wealth and fame, but are not at peace with themselves. They need more and more to distract themselves from their own inner sadness and emptiness, which never goes away. Consider this example. It is an amalgam of several true stories. Prem was a highly accomplished lawyer who emigrated to the UK 25 years ago. He is successful, well regarded, and on the boards of several companies. He has worked hard to get to where he is, so pushes his only son to do the same. He wants him to be a lawyer like him and take over his practice. He is constantly critical of his son for not studying hard enough, or watching too much TV, or being on his phone, or waking up late. They have many arguments and their relationship gets strained. After much persuasion the son agrees to study law at university, just to please his father, even though he hates the subject. After 2 years he feels desperately unhappy, abandons his degree and comes home. His father is angry and tells him that he has wasted all the money spent on his degree, that he is ungrateful, and will come to nothing in the future. Distraught, the son walks out, and takes to drugs to ease his pain. Prem is heart-broken, and wonders what he did wrong – he just wanted the best for his son. How could Prem have acted differently, with wisdom? Perhaps he could have understood that it was his unconscious fears and his own conditioning that was behind his desire for his son to become a lawyer. Bullying others into submission, under the guise of loving them is easily done, if one is not aware one is doing so. He did not understand the power of constant criticism to hurt others and the depth of the pain inflicted. Prem had always done what his father had told him, and he expected his son to do the same. If he lived with wisdom he would have understood that loving someone means accepting them completely as they are, and respecting their opinions and choices. As this story illustrates, wisdom does not always come with age or experience. Instead, it comes from a deeper understanding of ourselves and how our minds work. It comes from being curious about why we think and feel and act in the way we do. It comes from being able to question our assumptions and narratives which we naturally become attached to. Have you come across a version of this story in your life? # self awareness
To find out more download the HumanWisdom app or visit humanwisdom.me and explore how it can help you live your best life.
‘Self-knowledge is the first step to maturity’ ~ Jane Austen How can governments and organizations reduce tribalism and factionalism and boost collaboration? It is a question that many organizations grapple with. In this blog we are going to explore how helping everyone develop a deeper self-awareness and self-understanding may address the root cause of the problem. But first, here is a story which illustrates the problem.
I visited the 9/11 memorial in New York recently and was moved by the beautiful water feature where the towers once stood and the wonderful museum with moving stories of bravery on the day. What also struck me was that many intelligence agencies had snippets of information that could have prevented the attacks, and if there was a spirit of collaboration they would have been working together for the common good, and the attacks could have been prevented. But each agency seemed to be in a competition for importance and influence and as a result intelligence sharing did not happen. https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/ This problem is also rife in organizations where one department is at odds with another, and colleagues in the same department are sometimes at war with each other. This contributes to low productivity, poor outcomes, and increased risk. It can also result in a loss of life. In the UK 10 million employees report workplace conflict. 900,00 workers took time off due to this (ACAS). In the US the cost of workplace conflict is estimated at $359 billion/year (CPP Inc., 2008). Companies with a poor corporate culture report a 48% turnover of staff, compared to 13% where there is a healthy one (Columbia University, 2012). To address any problem, we need to explore the root cause, and in this case it lies in a deeper understanding of how the human mind is wired. There are four hidden drivers in our thinking that contribute to the problem. Conditioning: We are all conditioned by our environment and past influences. We are not aware of this, and yet become attached to our conditioning. This becomes our ‘normal’ and shapes our opinions and beliefs. Anyone we meet who is different is ‘wrong’ and we either avoid them or try and convince them of our point of view. Conflict follows. Identity: This is also an unconscious process. If I belong to ‘Department A’ that becomes my identity, and I am at odds with ‘Department B’. We compete for influence and resources in the organization. We are part of the same organization but there is a turf war going on, which does not serve the larger whole. Self-interest: Our hidden self-interest operates in the background, shaping our thoughts and actions. In any meeting I am always looking out for myself and resist anyone else gaining in influence, even though they may not be interfering in our work in any way. Our self-interest stops us living with integrity and collaborating with each other for the common good. Comparison: The unconscious process of comparison operates in the background in all of us. If others are better in some way it generates a feeling of envy and resistance, and we blame others for how we are feeling. We often act then to pull the other person down and conflict follows. A deeper understanding of these hidden drivers in our thinking can help us put them to one side and collaborate with others for the common good. It can also reduce interpersonal conflict. Each person needs to go on a journey of learning about themselves and this awakens wisdom, which can be life-changing in many ways. Organizations can help by training staff in self-awareness – for their own personal growth. A natural by-product of this is better collaboration and reduced conflict. To be effective this training cannot be done as a one off event because it is quickly forgotten. It also not effective imparted as pure information, though that is a good start. Regular group discussions combined with the use of the app and the built in online journal help users go on a journey of self-awareness, and it is this that brings transformation. The HumanWisdom app makes this process of self-awareness easy, with more than 60 bite-sized modules and a growing library of content. This awareness is then applied practically to help boost relationship and communication skills, boost collaboration and reduce conflict, and help people meet challenges with much less stress and anxiety. This wisdom can transform the culture of organizations and they can become happier places to work. This can boost retention, productivity, and litigation and result in better outcomes for all concerned. To find out more download the HumanWisdom app or visit humanwisdom.me and explore how it can help you live your best life.
