Isn’t it astonishing that a few spoken words have such power to hurt us? In this blog, we will explore the question of what happens when we feel criticised and how this understanding can help us respond with wisdom rather than anger.Embrace self-improvement: Unlock your potential.
We are all criticised and experience the sudden pain that arises deep within us. We have no control over our initial reactions to pain, such as getting angry, blaming others, or withdrawing affection. However, through self-improvement, we can learn to respond in healthier and more constructive ways.
Our psychological sense of self, a condition of our thinking, experiences pain just like our body does and can feel threatened when criticised.Empower growth: Elevate yourself through self-improvement. “If you focus on the hurt you continue to suffer. If you focus on the lesson, you continue to grow.” – Anon Let us look at an example to understand what is going on. If someone is a surgeon and you criticise their abilities as a surgeon, they will feel terrible, but if you tell them that they are an awful dancer, they might just laugh and agree with you. The difference is that they may have an image or an opinion of themselves as a good surgeon but not a good dancer. All our beliefs shape our identity; when they are challenged, we feel hurt. We are unaware of the many notions we have created of ourselves that we have accumulated over the years. The more images we have of ourselves, the more we risk getting hurt. Sometimes our life experiences can make us hyper-sensitive, and we can feel threatened even when no criticism is meant. Watch this short video to understand why criticism feels painful and difficult to process: https://humanwisdom.me/course/adults/criticism/s371 When criticised, understanding the mechanism behind the hurt may allow us to respond with intelligence. All criticism offers us an opportunity to learn about ourselves, even though it’s another person’s opinion. We may pause, ask if there is any truth in what is being said, and say sorry or change ourselves to correct our mistakes and start afresh. If we are wise, we could go further and actively welcome feedback from the people in our lives to avoid making mistakes we may not be aware of and keep our relationships healthy. We may explore our various notions of ourselves and ask how we acquired them, and that understanding may allow us to let most of them go. The ability to accept criticism with wisdom and grace is an important life skill we would all benefit from learning. To learn how to cope with criticism in ways that aren’t harmful, download the HumanWisdom app or visit humanwisdom.me
“When I discover who I am, I’ll be free.” ― Ralph Ellison # Self-Awareness
How does self-awareness contribute to empowering connections? Have you ever wondered, in a quiet moment, why we feel hurt, or lonely, why we feel dissatisfied, or why is happiness so elusive? Have you ever wondered why there is so much conflict in the world, and in our lives?
To explore these questions we need to look within as self awareness is the first step to discovering wisdom and living with emotional intelligence. We don’t know how to do that because throughout our lives we are taught about the world around us, but not about the world inside us, or our inner space. Why is that? We know much more about mathematics and science than fear, sorrow or the art of being happy. Much of the conflict in our lives and inside us is because of this lack of understanding.https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/
The process of looking within provides a framework in which we can understand ourselves and how our minds function, and in doing so realise that the human mind functions in the same way in all of us. This allows us to comprehend others better, simply by understanding ourselves. It could bring harmony to our lives and to all our relationships.
Watch this short video to understand how self awareness can help us live with a sense of peace: Exploring Awareness Take the example of people chatting in a group – If you notice how other people cut each other off mid-sentence because they feel the urge to say something, you could call that awareness. If you notice that tendency in yourself, that is self-awareness. If you explore it further you will find that this is common in all human beings and is linked to the need to express ourselves which makes us feel validated and strengthens the implication of ‘ME’, because they are MY opinions and my stories. Similarly, if you explore fear you will find that though the cause of fear in each of us may be different, the actual fear we experience, the mechanism behind it and the way it affects our lives is the same in all of us. We can therefore come together to explore our shared human consciousness. We can then ask questions like ‘is it possible to live without fear’ or ‘can we live without conflict in our relationships’, or ‘do we live meaningful lives, or a life dictated by our past influences or our conditioning?’ In understanding ourselves as we are, we can also understand others better, because deep down, we are the same and share the same mind or consciousness. As a result, we can live with wisdom and compassion, cope better with life’s challenges, find peace in our hearts and live in harmony with others and with the earth. The beauty of this approach is that it is simple and requires no new ideology, no rules to follow, and no authority figure or new belief system. Take the first step and find out for yourself.Self-awareness empowers connections. To find out more visit humanwisdom.me
To explore self-awareness and learn more ways to be aware in order to live with a sense of peace and live happier lives, download the HumanWisdom app and browse it for free.
Millions of people participate in competitive sports all over the world.# Positive thinking in sports
Sports psychology is a well-established field and a psychologist is part of the training squad in most professional teams Thus, understanding oneself and how one’s mind works has a lot to contribute to sports . https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/
All sportsmen and women accept that being physically fit is important for their specific sport and they train rigorously to be as physically fit as they can be. Mental health is equally important, and perhaps they don’t give as much attention to it unless they develop a problem. Mental illness is very common in sports, but people usually hide it because that would make them look ‘weak’ in the eyes of their coaches and peers.
“If you focus on the hurt you continue to suffer. If you focus on the lesson, you continue to grow.” – Anon # Positive thinking in sports
Understanding ourselves and how our minds work brings wisdom, and that allows us to face the challenges that we may encounter as athletes. For example, understanding our self-image may allow us to accept criticism with intelligence rather than just reacting with hurt and anger. How we cope with failure is important, because it is going to be part of every sports person’s life. There is a natural anxiety that occurs before any game. That can often boost performance, but too much of it and we can fail to perform, worried about the ‘what if I fail’ scenario. In some cases, it can be paralysing and affect the performance on any given day. Understanding that all anxiety is linked to thinking about the consequences of failure, allows a person to meet their goals from a fresh perspective, neither suppressing it nor escaping from it. If one can understand that feeling entirely without calling it anxiety, it can dissolve. This is simple, but not easy. Fear can be overcome – we just need to apply ourselves to understanding it. Our hidden beliefs can get in the way of our performance in any sport. If we don’t believe we are good enough, that will feed into our performance, because it may stop us from pushing ourselves beyond a certain limit. If you believe you can achieve anything you want, you are already halfway there. Low self-esteem can cause stress, anxiety, loss of confidence and many other problems. Here’s a short video to help you understand what a healthy self-esteem is, and how it may impact our lives: Video – https://humanwisdom.me/course/adults/self-esteem/s459 If we are involved in any sport we also have to question what success means to us? Why do we want to be successful? Usually, it boosts the ‘I’ or the ego and that brings us satisfaction, which we love. Do we realise that the pursuit of success can also lead to frustration and mental health problems? Exploring these questions for oneself may allow us to find our own answers, and develop a healthy attitude towards the sport we partake in. It doesn’t mean that pleasure is ‘bad’, or that the pursuit of ‘success’ is unhealthy, but exploring and understanding the nature of pleasure, success, anxiety, fear and belief may allow us to approach our sport using wisdom, without experiencing the mental health challenges that are so common in today’s competitive world. Understanding yourself, which leads to wisdom, can help you enjoy your sport more, deal with the challenges you will face, and boost your performance. To find out more download the HumanWisdom app, or visit humanwisdom.me. # Positive thinking in sport
“Do what you did at the beginning of a relationship and there won’t be an end.” – Anthony Robbins
We all want happy and content relationships but often find that difficult to practice. Why is that? Perhaps it is because we do not understand how our minds work. Much of our conflict and unhappiness come from relationships. Understanding them deeply allows us to live in peace, and with joy. https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/ # relationship conflict
Let us consider two examples. We all have many psychological needs, which we are unaware of, and that we expect others to fulfil. The closer our relationship, the higher our expectations. We want a balm for our loneliness, to be loved and respected, feel important, be listened to and understood, feel secure, have physical affection, be stimulated, and so on. When these needs are not met, we may respond by losing interest, getting hurt, withdrawing our affection or trying to manipulate the other person to meet them. If two people are pushing each other to meet their own needs and are not aware of it, they become insensitive and less giving to others, and conflict inevitably follows. If we understand this deeply, we may become aware of our self-interest operating in the background, trying to get our needs met by others, and this awareness brings with it the wisdom for self-awareness. We may then question our needs, take responsibility for them, and at least not blame others for not meeting them. This may open up a dialogue with others because the same process is operating in all of us, leading to a more loving relationship. All our experiences are stored in our memory from childhood. We call this our conditioning. We identify ourselves with this conditioning which includes our opinions, and it becomes the self or me, and we become protective of it. We scan the world around us and compare what we see with our conditioning and influences that have shaped our lives from the beginning. If it is familiar and something we agree with, we feel comfortable, which brings us satisfaction. If it is unfamiliar or we disagree with it, then there is a conflict in the brain, which we may not be aware of, and we respond by being critical of what we see. Watch this short video to understand how our conditioning can impact our relationships: How does conditioning impact relationships? Our attachment to our conditioning may prevent us from fully connecting with another person in a relationship. In a relationship, this may result in us being critical of how the other person is thinking or behaving, and we may want to change them so that we can feel more satisfied. We assume our opinions are correct because they come from our deep conditioning, and it believes that others must be wrong. This makes it difficult to compromise with another point of view because we are so protective of our own. If two people are constantly critical of each other and pushing each other to change, it leads to conflict. This process is the same in all humans and happens beyond our awareness. If people can wake up to this awareness operating in the background, it may dissolve the conflict between us and lead to a deeper understanding with more love and empathy than conflict. “More than money or fame, the best predictor of long-term happiness is the quality of our relationships.” – Anon. We develop a caring relationship wherever our emotional needs are met – with people, pets, ideas and things. The natural world gives us everything we need to survive but does not meet our emotional needs. Is that why we do not care for it? There are other ways in which an understanding of ourselves can lead to happier relationships- and these are explored in the Relationship module at humanwisdom.me # relationship conflict
We explore how the enquiring mind can respond with wisdom to the challenge posed by Coronavirus and the anxiety it causes. Here are 6 tips to consider. We live in extraordinary times. How can an enquiring mind respond to this challenge with intelligence? Every challenge we face also presents us with an opportunity to understand ourselves and how our mind works. We can do this by observing our reactions and exploring what lies behind them. This awakens in us an inner intelligence and also allows us to deal with the challenge we face, much more effectively. People are frightened. The more we read, the more frightened we become. We start having dark thoughts about the future, about our livelihood, our own health and our loved ones. We worry about falling ill or even dying from the disease. We have become anxious. Perhaps it is worth exploring the nature of fear, and how we can respond to it with intelligence. # crisis management
https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/Today it’s the coronavirus, tomorrow it may be something else and what we learn can be useful in dealing with other fears. When we look at ourselves and how our mind deals with this problem, we realise that we struggle to live with uncertainty, with not knowing what will happen. That uncertainty creates a space for our imagination to fill, and we know the human mind usually looks at a situation and thinks of the worst possible outcome. How can we deal with this uncertainty? Perhaps acceptance is the key, hard as it may be. Can we live with not knowing what may happen and make our peace with that? There are so many questions that have no answers, like not knowing if we will get infected with the coronavirus, if there is life on other planets, and so on. If we can accept uncertainty, and be comfortable with not knowing, we can avoid the anxieties caused by the many wild imaginings of our thinking. Often, when we are worried about something, we keep churning it over in our thinking, like a dog with a bone. Each time we swirl it around, we think of a new angle to worry about. ‘Forget coronavirus, what if I have a heart attack or stroke, will there be enough intensive care beds, for example?’ These are the kind of thoughts that can keep us awake at night and the less sleep we get, the less able we are to deal with the challenges of the day. # crisis management All our worries are rooted in the future. If we actually look at our lives right now, it may be okay. We can step outside. We have the chance to look at the flowers and the sun that remains in the sky. Reminding ourselves of such beauty can bring us back to the moment and the life that is for living, right now. There may of course be real challenges to deal with – we could have lost a job, or be caring for a loved one who is ill, or fallen ill ourselves. To face these challenges, we will need all our energy and wisdom. And if we can be completely in the present, we can do that much more effectively. Problems generated by our fears on the other hand have no solution because they have not yet occurred, so our worries never go away and wear us down. We will see that fear makes us think and behave irrationally. We are not aware that we are doing so. If we are challenged, we will find many arguments to justify our behaviour. Before we know it, we are in a panic and stockpiling items from the supermarket, even though everyone is saying it is not necessary, and that it leaves little for others in real need. When we look honestly at ourselves, we can learn that fear makes us even more self-centered than normal, and we can lose all consideration and compassion for people outside our immediate circle. But these are the kind of things we would never admit, even to ourselves. Having understood all this about fear, how can we respond to the current challenge with intelligence? To find our more visit humanwisdom.me # crisis management .The first step is to realise that we are worried and anxious. That may not always be obvious and it may just be expressed in our behaviour. We may want to talk about this all the time with others, or buy things we know we do not need, or keep surfing the internet churning over the news. We may notice that our bodies are tense, that we are on edge or that our heartbeat is faster. # crisis management The second step is to accept it and not label this fear as good or bad, or justify it as necessary. The crucial third step, which awakens an inner intelligence, is to ask what lies behind that feeling of anxiety, and what we can learn about ourselves from exploring it. Here are 6 ideas to consider from our own enquiry: #1 Write down all your fears and ask yourself how likely they are to happen. Then, divide them into 3 groups. The first group lists all the fears which are just a product of your imagination – that the world as we know it is going to end, we are going to run out of medicines and food, for example. In the second group are fears that are real but which you can do nothing about and just have to accept. Accepting for example, that despite our best efforts, we may get infected, and it is more than likely we will be fine if that happens. The third group are fears that we can do something about, for example getting stuck when we travel somewhere, so we don’t travel. Or that we may pick up a bug from the places we are visiting, so it seems sensible to cancel those engagements. #2 Realise that all fears are in the future, and actually in the present moment we are fine. Go for a walk outside. Write down all the things you have to be grateful for. Make it a long list and feel the beauty and joy of being alive. #3 When you look back at your life and see that very few of your fears have actually come to pass, it can help you realize that this one will also pass. Everything passes in the end. So much energy is wasted in worrying about things that never happen. #4 Realise that the constant thinking and reading and talking about the problem is just filling your mind with more fear and anxiety. When you stop this, you can get on with your life based on the best advice available and keep up with the news once a day. #5 Observe how your fear is making you behave irrationally. There is no need to be critical of yourself for that, but observe that and ask yourself, is that intelligent? That question can lead you to change course and do the intelligent thing, whatever it may be. An example can even be resisting the temptation to stockpile items from the supermarket and have much more consideration for others. #6 This one may seem like a very strange idea initially let us explore it, please: Can we meet stress and anxiety without thinking? A lot of our fears are based on thinking, and while that is essential, the constant thinking about things is generating anxiety and worry and can leave you worn out. On a simple walk, the act of looking at flowers with complete attention can cause the fears to temporarily dissolve. When paying complete attention to the flowers, one isn’t thinking. If we can meet our fears in the same way, with complete attention and without thinking, they dissolve too.When a fear arises in you, pay attention to it, and don’t start about it. # crisis management Tune into your breathing, and let the fear continue to rise in you. Accept it completely, but don’t react to it at all. Observe it. Don’t even name it as a fear. Just stay with it. Notice how your mind goes quiet when you pay complete attention to anything. If you can do that to your fear as it rises in you, it dissolves. Try it and see. Please don’t accept anything we say without checking for yourself if it is true. After all, we all share the same mind, and the nature of fear is the same in all human beings, whether we are afraid of losing our jobs, falling ill with the coronavirus, or life after death. Stay well, and look after yourself. This too will pass.
“When I discover who I am, I’ll be free” – Ralph Ellison # Chaos Theory
How do human beings respond when we get psychologically upset? We start by labelling the feeling as anger, stress, anxiety, depression or something similar. Different events can cause this, and though the details may differ, they are broadly similar in all human beings.
We may lose something we were attached to – a favourite pet, a person or a job. We may not get something we want – we may fail an exam, not get a job, or fail to achieve a goal at work.
# Chaos Theory https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/We may be criticised for something we have done, compare ourselves with others who have done better than us, feel our needs are not met in a relationship, or feel lonely — all these hurt.
There are many other reasons why we get stressed and upset. How do we respond? We immediately seek solutions in the world around us. We may start by blaming a person or our circumstances for how we are feeling. Feeling like a victim brings a subtle form of pleasure and gives us a reason not to accept responsibility for how we are feeling. If the distress continues, we may seek refuge in one of the friendly escapes that make us feel good in the short term. We may escape through amusement: go shopping, go on holiday, start a new relationship – anything that distracts us from our pain. We may take to alcohol or drugs, which again offers an escape from our pain. Or we may try some of the well-tested stress-reducing techniques – Yoga, Mindfulness, Counselling, Tai Chi, Meditation, or start some medication. All these provide some relief and make us feel better. But they all have one thing in common – dealing with the internal disorder’s symptoms but not the root cause. The engine of disorder continues to generate our psychological pain. Self-awareness is the first step to enlightening wisdom. Watch this short video to explore awareness: Exploring Awareness The only long-term solution is understanding the problem’s origins in our thinking. Most of us are unaware of its existence or how to explore and understand it. HumanWisdom offers a road map to explore our inner space and the origins of our distress. This understanding results in a long-term solution to these problems. If the roots of our anxiety are understood, then we no longer have to try not to be anxious. If we realise that our hidden version of ourselves causes us to be hurt when criticised, we can let go of them. If we understand that our conditioning pushes us to react to life in unhelpful patterns of behaviour, we can live with intelligence. Hence, it no longer operates from behind the screen of our awareness. If we see that our hidden psychological needs are behind much of our pain and disappointment in a relationship, we may try and understand where they come from. # Chaos Theory By turning our understanding inwards, and knowing ourselves & how our minds work, the engine of the disorder can be switched off, and we can live with a sense of inner peace. The beauty of this approach is that all it needs is to understand ourselves deeply, which empowers us to take responsibility for and solve our problems. Take the first step, and find out for yourself. To find out more, visit humanwisdom.me # Chaos Theory
When we see the problems in our own lives and those in the world, they seem too complex, and we feel helpless and do not know how to begin to address them. Every great human endeavour, even going to the moon, started as an idea. Today, we write about a project that may improve not only our own lives, but the world we all live in. # Life Lessons The Human Wisdom Project is based on the fact that hidden from our awareness, the human mind functions in the same way in all of us, and is responsible for the world we have created, including all the problems in our own lives like loneliness, stress, sorrow, anxiety, and conflict. It is also responsible for creating all the problems we see in the world like wars, corruption, poverty, drug addiction and climate change. By studying and understanding how our minds function, we can begin to address these problems and there is the possibility of deep change. https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/ The aim of the project is to encourage all human beings to begin their own journeys of self-understanding and to bring this study of our inner spaces to schools, colleges and universities around the world. The other aim of the project is to explore, together, whether it is possible for human beings to change deeply. This website has a number of resources which allow people to come together to explore what it means to be human, and share what they learn. The book Understanding Me, Understanding You is part of this project and has been written to make it easy for everyone to begin their own journey of self-enquiry. You can contribute to the project by beginning your own journey of enquiry and sharing what you learn with us all. Just as many computers have different contents in their hard drives, but share the same operating system, so we humans have different contents in our memories which we think makes us unique, but in the background, our minds function in the same way. #empowerment Though the cause of fear in your life and mine may be different, the underlying feeling of fear, the mechanism behind it and the way it affects our lives is the same, so we can explore it together. # Life Lessons Similarly the mechanism behind loneliness, sorrow and anxiety will be the same for all of us. By enquiring into the way our minds function, by asking questions and through self-awareness, we can begin to address these problems we all face. Understanding ourselves helps us to understand others, which leads to more harmonious relationships. This also leads to wisdom, intelligence, compassion and a sense of inner peace. We human beings are astonishingly capable when we come together to tackle a problem. We have eradicated so many diseases, cracked the genetic code, created the internet and can feed 7 billion people on this planet. We are now trying to tackle climate change. # Life Lessons Yet, when it comes to our inner spaces, we just assume that the problems we see there like stress, loneliness, conflict and sorrow do not have a solution. We have assumed that we can never change. Why is that? In the last century alone 200 million human beings were killed by other human beings. The same consciousness, the same mind that led to those killings, is also alive in you and me today and given the right circumstances we are all capable of that violence. If we want our children to live in a peaceful world we have to investigate that shared consciousness and find out if it is possible to change. Each of us can be a scientist and investigate the way our minds work, ask questions and share what we find with each other. If in investigating jealousy for example, you had an insight that completely ended it in you, that would help all human beings. We can then begin to ask questions like ‘Is it possible to live without conflict in a relationship’, or ‘Can loneliness be dissolved’, or ‘How can we find love in our lives’ or ‘Is it possible to live a life based on intelligence, and not just one influenced by our past’? Please do not think only clever people can do this or that some expert is going to solve the problem. Each of us is equally capable of this understanding. Please join us on this journey. To find out more please visit humanwisdom.me.
Of all the skills we need to be happy and successful in life, getting on with others has to be among the most important. # Emotional Intelligence In order to get on with other people we need to understand them, and the best way to understand others is to understand ourselves, because as we will explore, beyond the screen of our awareness, the human mind functions in the same way in everyone. Physically we think we are unique because we look different but scientists say that 99.9% of our DNA is the same, so biologically we are very similar. Psychologically we feel we are even more unique.
# Emotional Intelligence https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/We may speak different languages, come from different cultures or countries, and have had different experiences. These are the contents of our memory. We identify ourselves with this content, which is unique, and this creates the sense of us being separate individuals. Behind the scenes however, despite our apparent differences, our minds function in the same way. Take the example of a couple who are arguing about what they should spend their money on. She may want a new phone and he may want to go on holiday. Each is attached to their own desire which creates conflict. If they explored that more deeply, they would realise that the feeling of desire is the same in both of them. It is linked to an anticipation of pleasure and as soon as the desire is fulfilled, the pleasure ends and they would feel empty again. If they understood that the nature of desire in both of them is the same, their conflict would end immediately. The other reason that their discussion can get quite heated is that each is attached to their view. # Emotional Intelligence They do not understand the mechanism behind this and so there is conflict. Without realising it, we become attached to the content of our memory, because it becomes part of our identity. We then want to defend our opinions and beliefs and invent increasingly clever arguments why our view is correct. Any assertion of our identity brings us pleasure, because it strengthens the ‘me’. If both people understood the mechanism behind how our opinions are formed and how we get attached to them, the arguments would end. In this way, if we explored any feeling we would realise that the mechanism behind it is the same in all of us. We are all shaped by our past experiences, we all want to be happy and we all get hurt. In the background, our minds function in similar ways – just as computers run the same operating system even though they have different contents stored in their memory. This ‘operating system’ is the same in all human beings. # Emotional Intelligence If we can understand this fact, it can be life changing and has been for many people across the world. We might feel less alone. Realising that our minds function in the same way as in others may allow us to accept ourselves as we are and that may bring a sense of peace. It may allow us to understand and accept others, though they may look different and have different opinions from us, and that may lead to compassion and harmony in our relationships. It would also allow human beings to come together and explore whether it is possible for us to change deeply, and live with less conflict in our lives, which would make the world a more peaceful place. We owe it to future generations to find out. This understanding is not complex, and is open to anyone who is willing to look within, accept what they see and question themselves. The book Understanding Me Understanding You and HumanWisdom enables everyone to understand themselves and how their minds work. To find our more visit humanwisdom.me. # Emotional Intelligence
“Criticism is the disapproval of people, not for having faults, but having faults different from your own” – Anon. # empathy Let us start with an example. If you come across someone smoking, you are much more likely to be critical of them if you are a non-smoker than if you smoke.
Why is that? Perhaps it is because our mind compares everything we see and hears with what it knows. If we encounter something different, it creates a disturbance and a sense of irritation or anger. This is because we are attached to our point of view without realising it, and anything different feels wrong. We respond to this disturbance by being critical of the other person. Being critical is another way of saying I am right and you are wrong, strengthening our sense of self and bringing a burst of satisfaction. These two mechanisms are automatic and work in the background, behind the screen of our awareness. This is why being critical of others can become an unconscious habit. https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/ To understand why we are critical of others, watch this short video: The role of conditioning Unfortunately, this can result in conflict because no one likes being criticised, especially if our irritation or anger is evident in our tone. If we do it repeatedly, it can damage a person’s self-esteem. It can also diminish us because we become closed to different ways of seeing and doing things. Criticism is neither good nor bad and sometimes entirely necessary. If we can, however, understand the mechanism behind it, we can respond with intelligence rather than automatically. We may still say something critical, but in a way that does not convey our irritation or anger and trigger a defensive response. We may also just pause and ask if we need to say anything and accept other points of view as equally valid. To learn more about criticism and ways to cope with it, download the HumanWisdom app or visit humanwisdom.me # empathy
In this blog, we will explore the question of ‘Why are we critical of ourselves?’. Some degree of self-criticism is healthy, but for many people it can be a cause of deep unhappiness and low self-esteem. Sometimes it can manifest as an eating disorder, or as chronic anxiety. It makes us more sensitive to criticism from others as well as making us more critical of other people. https://blogs.humanwisdom.me/Our pain demands our attention so we can become self-absorbed, and lose our sensitivity to the people in our lives. It can also distort our ability to think clearly and become a habit which we can’t seem to change. So what is behind this feeling? At its core is the difference between who we are, and who we would like to be, which we can call our images of ourselves. We are this and want to be that, which we think will make us happy. # self-compassion The difference between our images and our reality is what causes our pain. I may be overweight and want to be thin, or thin and want to look more muscular, or be more loved, or more important, or be better at something, and so on. This process goes on automatically and we are blind to it. We do not realise that we have accumulated all these images from our environment, and this has happened without our consent. For example, we may not see the link between reading a fashion magazine and thinking we need to lose weight. So what can we do? We could start by observing our images and the hidden way they act in our lives. We may then realise that our problem lies not in who we are but in our images of who we want to be, and just let them go. This understanding would allow us to just accept ourselves, which would bring so much peace to our lives. To find our more visit humanwisdom.me
